A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So i've been dating a girl for almost 3 years. but within the last 2 months i've really started falling for her best friend, whom she recently met. i seriously think i'm in love with this friend. she is more attractive than my girlfriend (i never found my gf too attractive) this friend is way funnier too and we get along SO well. but if i dump my gf, i don't think this girl would date me, because i would be her friends ex. so what do i do? i definitely like this new girl more, and would rather date her. My girlfriend often annoys me. But i have so much in common with this friend. please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2011): In my opinion you should break up with your girlfriend because you don't want to be with her, and then walk away and forget about both of them. I know many girls myself included would never go out with a friend's ex, no decent friend would do that to another girl. Be a man and walk away, and when you do get a new girlfriend, be sure that you actually want to be with her because you want to be not because she is good enough until someone you deem as being better comes along it is cruel to treat people that way.
A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (23 October 2011):
 Do the right thing and end the relationship with your gf first!
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A
female
reader, PinkRose  +, writes (23 October 2011):
 First of all hun, don't confuse love with desire. Love is a deep feeling of affection you feel for someone you know well and like on every level......desire is a hormonal reaction.....a need to mate with someone you find desirable or attractive. If you feel the love is gone between you and your gf then do the right thing and end it with her! I wonder why you started going out with this girl in the first place if you don't find her attractive? For sex or because you liked her as a person only? In the future, take time to get to know someone and only get involved when you feel that you are attracted to that person on all levels. There will be many people who you will admire as a person, those people will be JUST a friend, don't lead them on thinking they are more There will be many many people that you will desire physically but that does not mean that you need to get involved with all of them because many might have personalities and values that are just not compatible with yours. Its the animal in us that makes us desire everyone we find physically attractive but its the human in us that wants a gf, partner, spouse, whatever who we admire and we can connect with on many other levels as well:)Good luck hun, hope this help a bit......!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2011): I'm just curious ; how did you come to go out with a girl for THREE YEARS if you say you never found her that attractive ?amongst the other things ?
Whatever happens with her friend - and that's a difficult one :( - you sound fed up and unhappy in an unsatisfactory relatonship and GET THE HELL OUT!!!! You're being unkind to yourself and to your girlfriend in the long run .She can find someone who's really into her and then so can you . You're too young to be living a lie .
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2011): I think you should let your girlfriend go regardless of whether or not you can date her best friend. It simply is not fair to her (or to yourself) to keep being with her when you desire someone else more. And why would you want to stay with someone you find annoying and unattractive anyway? You're wasting your time and also her's. She has the right to be with someone who IS attracted to her just as much as you have the right to be with someone you're attracted to. And it doesn't have to be her best friend. There are countless attractive girls out there who if you give them a chance, you might find someone else whom you also have a lot in common with. Then you won't have to risk breaking up their friendship, and you both get to be happy with someone you're more compatible with.
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