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female
,
*ene
writes: hello,I am a lady aged 29. I have been going out with my boyfriend for five years now. We once broke up for 4 months (it really affected both me and my boyfriend) and I left my country to visit my sister abroad. During my visit I was so desperate and confused too. I met a man and we dated for two months then I left for my country. Once I got back home I reconciled with my boyfriend but I still communicated with the other man though I don't love him at all.Now he has invited me to visit him and he is really pushing on marrying me. He has told everyone.My boyfriend and I love each other so dearly and I never want to hurt him.Please advise me on how to tell this man that I don't want to marry him in a polite way.thankyou.
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reader, becky05 +, writes (26 July 2005):
There is no easy way to tell him you will just have to say that you dont want to marry him and tell him the reason why.
A
female
reader, curlz +, writes (25 July 2005):
It may not always be the most fun policy, but honesty really is the best policy!
Just tell this man that whereas you may have enjoyed those two months with him, your life has taken a different diraction to th eone it was heading in at the time, and you have to move on with it. Try and make it clear that it is nothing personal, but you have just left that part of your life behind, storing it as a precious memory rather than a taste of the future.
He will still be hurt of course - but if you just open up and clearly state the situation, he will respect your honesty and bith of you will be able ti move on with your lives.
I hope everything works out for you. x x x
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A
reader, Mickey_Powell +, writes (24 July 2005):
 Tell this man you are flattered but you are not interested because there is another man involved!! Tell him you do have feelings for him but they are not strong enough for marriage, he will come to terms with it and find other women...Or tell him the truth!
Good Luck on how you tell him, make the right decision only you will know what to do!!
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A
female
reader, marn +, writes (24 July 2005):
right hun! here id how it is ! just say politly to him, but firmly i dont want to be with you it was a fling and i do not feel love towards you! dont let a man push you around! if you dont want to marry him then just tell him straight! dont pity him! block him from your mind! have no contact with him what so ever! he will try and make you feel sorry for him but when you do feel yourself feeling sorry for him think of your boyefriend! tell him straight girl! you can do it! A phone call would be better than a meeting! if you meet with him he could twist it and cuase problems between you and your feller! wothheld your number aswell!
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