A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just recently became involved with a guy and I thought I really liked him. He was known as a player but always told me I was different. Three weeks into our "thing" we had a date alone at his place. We did all sorts of stuff but when I said I'd like to take it slow he just continued. It's the day after now and he just told me he doesn't want anything to do with me and that he doesn't want a relationship. How do you get over this kind of heartbreak?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2011): Time is the best healer and in time you'll realize you had a lucky escape. Once you realize what a douche he is and that he doesn't even deserve a tiny bit of your emotion you'll be okay. Also seeing as you didn't actually go too far with him and stuck to your guns you can be proud because you weren't actually played, because he would have left you after that anyway, not all girls are so smart.
OP in future please pay attention to a persons reputation, people don't get undeserved reps, they just don't. If a guy is known as a player then he's a player and it doesn't matter what he says, the reason he's a player is because he knows the right things to say.
I'll say it again, listen to what people have to say about guys, if they're known to have cheated, played, are too popular with the ladies or anything like that then stay away from them OP. Don't ever fall for their "I've changed, people are wrong about me I'm actually a nice sensitive guy, they just don't like me etc." crap. Because it is crap OP, it's just words and people don't really change that kind of behaviour at all. Once a player always a player because the game is just too much fun and when you know how to play it it's just too damn easy too. Girls like you don't get played because you're smart enough to take your time, but you'll just get disappointed because they won't stick around.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2011): You are not the first girl to be hurt in this way and you won't be the last. It is very painful but know he is a shallow, heartless creature and you'll know to avoid his type again. And if he comes calling again remember how he treated you. Guys like him can have a habit of reappearing in your life so don't get hurt again.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (25 February 2011):
 How do you get over it? By realizing that he was a douche. You slept with a douche. It happens, don't be mad at yourself, but understand that people don't change. It's not that you weren't special enough for him, he is just a player who cares about getting laid, nothing else. So unless you want a "FWB" stay away from "those" kind of guys. They aren't worth it.
Next time you meet a guy take your time (more then 3 weeks) to get to know him.
Last but not least, NEVER sit and wait by the phone for a guy to call you back. If you want to talk to him, call him. If he doesn't want to talk to you, move on, don't waste time on them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2011): This all part of the rich tapestry of life, nothing new about it, sadly. It will sting for a while, but at least you weren't going out with him for weeks or months, and became really emotionally involved, and he then vanishes. Which is pretty typical with these guys.
I don't advise or advocate YOU become like these guys, have sex and dump them. Hey, you're just complaining about such treatment, so why would you lower yourself and your standards and become like them - it's no way to behave, and if you genuinely want a loving relationship, having casual sex and dumping guys is NOT going to impress the one, who may just want to have a proper relationship with you.
Keep your standards, hold your head up, and enjoy your life, friends, and take your time with guys, DON'T have a date at a guys place, ever, unless you're ready to have sex with him, and realize, IF you've not been dating too long, 3 or 4 dates, this guy is looking for sex not a relationship, dates are going out together, not going to homes, it blatantly obvious that he was after sex only.
If a guys a player - YOU will never change him, he has to change himself.
Good luck,
Dr.Date
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (25 February 2011):
 Hi! :-)
Sorry that you're hearbroken.. I know its painful, hard, makes you feel angry, affects your self esteem, all sort of emotions, but be glad that happened now than later.. Imagine if you had deeper feelings for this guy? It would've been harder... What he did is so stupid, no class, shows he's a looser & believe me that this guy have no future & will never be happy in future relationships. Please, don't waste anymore of your precious time & life thinking about this looser...don't be hard on yourself, don't be sad, everybody goes through similar situations & worst!!! So you're not alone & there's nothing wrong w/u & you didn't do anything wrong...
You are very young & still have so much to learn.. Love is beautiful, sweet, you still have so much more chances...ups & downs, but its all part of time, trying to find the perfect guy & sweety believe me, your perfect guy is out there...
Like the previous advice, concentrate in yourself, spend time w/friends, make yourself look beautiful everyday, show you are very smart, strong girl!!! Its very important to be serious about school, I was once your age & my motivation to you is that this is only the beginning & many guys will come alone, rather you want or not!!!!!! :-)
Good luck to you & like I said, every sad thing you have to face in life will only make you stronger & better person....
Ps: if you see this looser again?? Pls just ignore him!! Don't do anything, don't talk bad things about him, don't ever talk to him, eventually people will see what a looser he's...
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A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (25 February 2011):
 The only way to get over it is time. They say it takes half the amount of time to get over them to the amount of time you were with them. So 3 weeks = 1.5 weeks and you should feel a bit better. Just be glad you didn't do much else with him.
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