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female
,
anonymous
writes: I got into a long-distance relationship [my first relationship] with a guy at age 15, found out that "he" was actually a "she" at age 16, and broke up with him/her at 17; about 6 months ago. Before I found out about the person's real identity, I had sexual feelings only for this particular "guy", no one else of either gender. After learning of their real gender, the sexual feelings disappeared altogether, but about a month after I dumped this person, I began to get turned on by photos and drawings of girls, but not guys! Is this just because of a bad experience, or am I actually a lesbian? And if I am, is there a way to fix the problem?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): You'll figure that out when you are supposed to, but it is not something that you can fix. You are who you are.
I'm bi, but wondering if I am a lesbian.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2006): i know what you mean and it's most likely your mind playing tricks on you. You've had feelings towards a guy thats actually a gal and now your confused and it's made u look at other girls unwillingly. All you need to know is that this will go eventually or it will stay.
I personally don't see why it seems so threatening to you. I have friends who are bisexual, and they seem normal and most of them just think about people of the same sex and never actually do anything.
but if your still confused in a few months, try letting your self look at girls freely and find out how this makes you feel. most likely it will make you realise u dont like gals..
but whatever happens, i'm sure your friends will be behind you all the way
good luck!
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A
male
reader, DoctorGayLove +, writes (11 June 2006):
So you found out your online lover is not the gender they claimed to be. They were a fraud so hopefully you don't take what they said too seriously and let if effect you. Well, you could be bisexual, gay or straight. It doesn't matter. You were tricked. You are what you are regardless of what they said or did.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2006): If you think you might be lesbian, dont want to be and want to fix the problem, suicide isnt the solution. Suicide isnt the solution to anything! I know how you feel. If you had sex with this girl or had sexual feelings for this girl whom you thought was a guy at the time, and it felt good, that doesnt mean you're lesbian! The truthe is, sex is going to feel good no matter from whom or what we get it from. And since it felt good, you may think that now you must like girls because a girl touched you, when in fact you didnt know he was a she. I know it must be very confusing for you right now, but I dont think you're lesbian. I hope you talk to somebody who might help you about this.
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A
male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (11 June 2006):
 These fears will disappear when you meet the right guy.
You will look back and laugh at this.
I think everybody has thought about their sexuality at one stage of their life, espacially at such a young age.
It is normal babe, dont worry about it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2006): You're right I don't want to be lesbian.. even thinking about it has made me nervous and grossed-out, and even have suicidal thoughts.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2006): I think you're just confused. You should start dating guys to figure out if you are really attracted to girl. I mean if the guys you date dont attract you at least one bit, then that be because you are lesbian. You may need to seek some counseling on this. It sounds to be that you dont want to be lesbian. Its normal i think to be attracted to woman because god made us so beautiful, but i dont think its normal to feel sexually attracted to women. Its like if you see a beautifull peice of art, you're going to look at it and stare right? Whatever you do, dont claim yourself to be lesbian if you're not sure. Seek some professional help to help determine if you are or arent. I hope this helps.
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