| A
male
,
*hredordie
writes: Ok, so I hadn't talked my to my ex for a little over a month. She broke it off with me about 4 1/2 months ago and started seeing a new guy within a week or two. We went out for over a year and I thought that we would be with eachother forever. I couldn't take talking to her anymore, so a little over a month ago I told her I couldn't talk to her anymore.Now, I KNOW this annoyed her and made her a little angry when I told her, as I had kind of flip flopped on the issue before. But this time I stuck to my guns and didn't contact her at all. Last Friday, she sent me an instant message while I was at work. She said hi and asked how I was doing, and hoped that I was having a good summer.I know she didn't expect me to respond to her, as I had ignored a phonecall from her about two or three weeks go, but I did respond (and definitely surprised her). Anyway, since I was at work I couldn't really talk, and we only chatted for about a minute or two.Do you think this means anything? I still love her, but have been doing really well since I stopped talking to her, and even have possibly started developing feelings for a friend of a friend. However, right now I feel like picking up contact with her again, as I miss her, and maybe she misses me a bit???Thanks
View related questions:
at work, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, andyfish +, writes (28 June 2006):
 No contact is working for me. I've had the urge to speak to my ex, but I know it will really screw my head. I know its nasty, but you have to leave the past in the past.
A
female
reader, Shimmer +, writes (27 June 2006):
To be honest I don't personally believe in being friends with exes. Maybe it works for some people, but in most cases it's pretty difficult to get over somebody when you're speaking to them all the time. As you said, you were completely fine until you started speaking to her again. When you started talking to her again, your feelings immediately came rushing back. Ask yourself though, do you REALLY want to get back with her?? Or are you just feeling this way because she contacted you again and meant a lot to you in the past? If she really cared about you, she wouldn't have gone off with another guy. I recommend cutting off contact with her. Try and pursue something with this new girl and try and forget about your ex. She basically dumped you for another guy which was a pretty low thing to do. She may want to do the whole "let's-be-friends" thing now, or maybe she's sorry, but does she really deserve your friendship and time? Maybe she just wants to contact you to see what you're doing now, to hope that you haven't been happy ever since you guys broke up. I had an ex like that, and I did not for one second let him think that I was nothing without him. Perhaps once you are completely over her you could talk to her again. That's completely up to you though. Give it a month or even a couple of months. I personally wouldn't, but it's ultimately up to you. Good luck!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): She is probably having regrets in breaking up wih you. Don't play this game with her she has dumped you and has taken up very quickly with someone else. This new lover was probably the reason why you were dumped. Cut her free, absence makes the heart grow fonder and if she comes back to you later on, and apologises, and explains she has made the biggest mistake of her life then you can decide what to do. In the meanwhile she is playing with your emotions and may mess up your feelings for this new girl. I think for the time being you are better off without her, don't forget she dumped you keep it very cool with her. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (27 June 2006):
 It could be that you are mis-reading the signals. Is this what she did when she was with you, keeping contact with her ex'es? Maybe she:
a) feels guilty about the way it ended
b) is keeping her options open, as maybe it is not as great as she thought it was going to be with the new guy
c) genuinely wants to just be friends, nothing more (not, in my experience, a good idea, as you need the space to move on.
How about giving yourself a bit of a breather, just to make sure you are clear in your feelings, as even if you want to go out with the new girl, your confusion with the ex will just muddy the waters and it would not be fair to be seeing one girl and thinking about the other! I would say sit tight and take your time to come to a decision, and let the one you end up with be the one that has ALL your attention - but bear in mind she dumped you and very quickly got herself a new guy, so be wary, you really don't need that to happen to you again, do you? Good luck to you, I would be interested to hear how it turns out for you. Take care!
...............................
|
