A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: OK, well the basic idea is that I can't cum during a blowjob or handjob from my girlfriend recently. This weekend I haven't been able to do it. I did it once when my girlfriend gave me a handjob, she gave me my first blowjob(s) this weekend plus handjobs. She wants me to cum and trust me i want to cum as well. We did some dry humping like a little and i was able to cum. I don't know what is going on, it feels good and I want to cum but it just doesn't happen i dont get to that point.Any kind of help is appreciated :)
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male
reader, Sphronas +, writes (23 August 2009):
You don't say anything about whether this is your first sexual partner, but I am guessing she is. My advice would be not to worry about this too much -- sex happens mostly in the head, so it is best to relax and take your time discovering your sexuality.
I can imagine two reasons for your inability to have an orgasm when receiving oral or manual sex from your girlfriend. The first reason has to do with control: you are surrendering the control over the sexual act to your girlfriend. Compare this to "dry humping", where YOU have control! Many guys have a problem with giving up control during sex. But remember that she is doing these things because you love and desire each other. It is okay to surrender control to someone you love (and trust me, it may be difficult, but it is worth it).
The second reason has to do with the fact that giving sexual pleasure should be a mutual thing. It may be that you believe that your girlfriend gets no pleasure from stimulating you orally or manually, and that you cannot enjoy something if she does not enjoy it. If that is the case, find out whether she enjoys giving you manual/oral sex and find out what you can do to give her pleasure (hint: men can also perform oral and manual sex).
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