A
male
age
36-40,
*ndy00
writes:WHAT AM I MISSING??Hello everyone. I was in a long distance relationship with a girl for two years, which ended in June 2007. I spent most of the rest of the year dwelling on that. Recently, I have started going out drinking with friends more than I used to.A few weeks ago, I met a girl, we got on very well, and ended up making out. Excellent night, I thought, but then I never heard from her again. Tonight I went out, met another nice girl, connected well, chatted for a while, seemed to get quite close to kissing... And then towards the end of the night, she ended up dancing with SOMEBODY ELSE. I don't know if he's just a friend, but either way, it was quite devastating. As I left, she made me promise to text or call her, which I accepted. After I left I told her "Hi. Hope you don't think I'm rude for leaving, but I have a bus to catch, and you seemed happy enough dancing with that other guy".It reminded me of a time where me and my ex went dancing, and she made fun of how "I can't dance" and spent most of the evening dancing with her friends instead. It also made me think about how now she is dating somebody else, and then, here's me who can't even get a girl to contact him after a night.WHAT THE HELL AM I MISSING?? I'm a nice enough guy, and I'm good company, but yet, I can't seem to secure a second meeting with a girl, despite connecting well with them. What am I not doing right??
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kissing, long distance, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (13 January 2008):
Andy00 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the support. I think I should give an update. Nothing really happened with the girl I mentioned before, but I met a girl last night after college, and we're meeting up on Monday! Talk about ups and downs, I think 2008 is going to be a crazy year! 2005 - 1st half of 2007 was so easy. I had a stable relationship, a girl I really loved, and that blew up in my face. The 2nd half of 2007 was miserable. But now here we are in 2008 and I'm out and about and meeting girls! Not quite as easy as having a stable, loving relationship, but I'm sure it will be an experience!
A
female
reader, Sazza13 +, writes (12 January 2008):
good im glad to hear it! x
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A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (4 January 2008):
Andy00 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to update you, perhaps I overreacted. Me and the girl I met last night text back and forth through the day, and everything seemed fine. I'm going to text her in a couple of days to ask if she wants to go for a drink Monday night. So we shall see how it goes.
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A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (4 January 2008):
Andy00 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, thanks for the answers. I'll address each of them individually.
To the first, I don't know what you're saying that first paragraph, but it sounds like you're suggesting I didn't try to call her back. I did try, unfortunately, I couldn't get hold of her. I guess she blocked my number or something, so I just have to accept that. As for your second paragraph, I don't appreciate being called an idiot. I'll admit it was a stupid thing to do, but I'd been drinking. Perhaps if I were sober I would have reconsidered my actions.
To the second, thank you very much for your answer. Well thought out. And that's a good point about girls in clubs looking for one night stands.
To the third, I'll say as I did to the first poster; my decision to send that text wasn't a good one. I accept that. I don't think I've caused too much damage. It's all a matter of how my text was perceived. She knew I had a bus to catch anyway, and she did want me to text her and that text said that I would. As for the bit about the guy, that can either sound jealous, or it can sound observant. After all, she DID look happy enough dancing with that guy.
So, I suppose my next question should be; How long until I give her a call? Should I do it today, or should I leave it until the weekend?
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A
female
reader, Sazza13 +, writes (4 January 2008):
u prob txting her saying 'u seemed to be having fun with that other guy' prob wasn't too good suggest ure jealous already! lol! but don't look for it, it just happen's and get as many numbers as u can, ure not truly over ure ex as im not either i broke up with my ex in april, it happens, just let time heal.
easier said than done i no! xx
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A
female
reader, lawstudentemma +, writes (4 January 2008):
Firstly, I don't believe clubs are the best places to meet girls. After all we are usually all drunk, the environment allows for little more than body language and short conversation and furthermore, girls don't expect men to be looking for anything but a one-night stand in a club. After all, we are out having some fun. I would not panic about the situation. Sounds to me like a lack of confidence brewing. Girls love confidence, we love playing hard to get... if the girls stumble away to dance with other men then play us at our own game. Find your target for the night, and wander off engage with other girls but check you have her eye. Girls love attention- make them the center of the attention but make sure you keep their interest by showing that other girls want you too.
Regarding your past-relationship, it is always hard to adjust after a break up even a long-distance one. I am currently in such a relationship- they will always be hard work but despite the distance you will always miss them. But it takes time and believe me it gets easier, maybe not to forget them altogether but definitely to find other company to fill the gap.
Failing all this... maybe take some dance lessons.... a few hiphop dance lessons down your local gym should help on the dance floor! Above all learn to love yourself... find that confidence and then the girls will be more attracted to you and intrigued about you. Oh and a good aftershave... that works well reminds us at the end of the night how good u smelt... smell helps us remember.
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (4 January 2008):
 so you make out with a girl. and never call her back invite her out for coffee or drinks... you just move on...
the whole " you seemed happy dancing with the other guy " the pitty play doens't work there makes you seem like a jealous idiot.. you may well be a jealous idiot but you don't need her to knwo that.
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A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (4 January 2008):
Andy00 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCorrection: I text her saying "Hi. Hope you don't think I'm rude for leaving, but I have a bus to catch, and you seemed happy enough dancing with that other guy. Text you sometimes if you'd like to meet up"
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