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I confronted her about using me and now she isn't speaking to me

Tagged as: Dating, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 June 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 June 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I liked this girl so much over 7months but known her for longer. She has always fancied my best mate. My best mate doesn't like her but she recently used me to talk to him like always calling me over than tellin him we're talkin and he should come. She asked me out on date to find out if his jealous. Of course we never dated because she kept makin excuses.

my best mate opened my eyes and it all made sense and some texts she sent him proved she loved him, she used and wasted my time to get him. Well this killed me because all that time i should she liked me! I talked to her about this and she denied it all. For the first time i called her pathetic and walked off and my teacher asked if i was ok later on because apparently i was very pale. That was how stressed and in love i was with her that i couldn't believe i asked her stuff to get myself out of bein used.

I've text again after sayin all points why i think she used me, and admitted i liked her so much and i'm hurt because of her using me takin advantage of my love for her to get to my friend! My mates got a new girlfriend today and the girl who i love was really hurt because she liked him. So i said now you know how it feels to get rejected but trust me its worse to find out the person you love used you and took advantage of you.

after some long text she did not reply and she's not talkin to my friend either.

i was so angry, i told her the truth for the best so i stop bein used. But i love her. I dont think i will ever forgive her.

its killin me she hasn't replied. What you guys think, she dont care and she's gonna let me suffer her love? Please help

View related questions: jealous, my teacher, text

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A female reader, happytochat Australia +, writes (30 June 2007):

Hi there,

First of all I just wanted to say that I can see how bad you must feel. Its a really bad position you are in to have what has happened to you. Must hurt a lot!

Everyone deals with confrontation in different ways. They either take flight, freeze or fight. Fight meaning they keep talking to the person who is confronting them and defend themselves/fight it, freeze meanign they just shut down, dont say anythign- they 'freeze', and flight meaning then run away. It seems to me this girl has taken the flight- shes running away. It is not that she doesnt care its just how she deals with confrontation. She obviously knows what she has done is wrong and is too scared to face the poeple who she has hurt. She probably does feel bad but still doesnt have the guts to admit it and say sorry.

Perhaps you would have a better chance at geting a reply from her if you tell her she has no reason to be scared of you, that you just want to talk about it, calmly.

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A male reader, nologo Ukraine +, writes (30 June 2007):

nologo agony auntCan't understand her motivation for using.

What she thinks is more important for you.

Maybe "she dont care and she's gonna let me suffer her love".

You'll get over her - the feeling of wasting time to remain.

However, it's also possible that your assumptions are false.

"she did not reply and she's not talkin to my friend either"

The silence will not last forever: see whether she moves on.

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