A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend of almost 8 years is lying to me about were he met this girl on his myspace. We have had our problems in the past yet I have stayed with him. I feel like this is the last draw I don't know what to do I confront him and he just lies to me more. I am starting to think I should just move out or something. Today he came home from lunch with one friend but say's they kept putting on song's. I ask who they is and he just clams up. Please help.
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female
reader, Mrs. Mom +, writes (17 March 2009):
I think you need to stand up for yourself and your own happiness and leave him. How can you have a good life with someone who lies to you?
A
female
reader, playlislay +, writes (16 March 2009):
Sweety, listen to me.
I had the worlds most wonderful bf-absolutely AMAZING!
But one day I got hold of his facebook password, experimented out of boredom and got the shock of my life!! He had been sleeping around with 1 girl.
I confronted him and he swore until he was blue in the face that he didnt know what I was on about. Even though I told him that I had the evidence-he might as well have admitted it to me but he didnt. Anywho, met up and he finally confessed. after 4 hours of talking I asked if ther was anyone else that Ishould know about as this would the time to tell me as I will leave him if I find anything else out.........he swore blind!
I went home, checked his fcbk again, searched his msgs like a greyhound on a rabbit and what did I find? Oh, another woman that he had slept with recently!!
My point being is that if you are with a liar, no matter how much you tow are in love, he will always be that way. Im not saying to leave him, but to just accept that you are dealing with a constant liar. Ive found alot of men do this, I could give other examples, but I wont.
Its down to you on what you do with him. I think it helps if you know their 'lying face' or that look that tells you that something is definately up!
Good luck hunny x
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A
female
reader, didda123 +, writes (16 March 2009):
You have had issues with him in the past i honestly think the best thing to do is to move on.
I know you have had 8 years together and it is a long time but unless he is willing to work at the relationship with you it is a lost cause.
Only you know if it is possible to repair your relationship or whether you even wish to and you could always seek outside advice with the help of a councellor.
If he is continually lying to you he is not really showing you a great deal of respect and i think you always need a little bit of this for each other for it to be a healthy relationship. You really need to sit down together and have a serious talk and let him know exactly how you feel and your intentions.
If you are prepared to put up with this kind of behaviour from him that is your choice but you are still young and will have the chance to meet someone who will respect you and put you first.
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A
female
reader, wonderingcat +, writes (16 March 2009):
He has proven in the past that he is capable of lying. He is doing in the present time. Why does he continually do this when he knows that it hurts you? Because, unfortunately, he can, and unfortunately you tolerate(d) this behaviour.
Lying is a form of abuse. He is abusing your trust. Please leave him. he is not acknowledging his wrongdoing, and he is not respecting you. Is the life you want to have with him in the future? If not, only you can decide whether or not a couple counselling would help. If it does not, or he does not want to do that, I think you know your answer already.
Good luck, and be strong!
Cat
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