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I completely support my boyfriend's acting career but he never seems to reciprocate!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 August 2014) 5 Answers - (Newest, 11 August 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *nnocentgirl writes:

We've bee together for two months, and we are both in the same competitive business....The acting industry. We're both doing well in our own ways, but at the same time that extra support is always helpful to have in a relationship. But it seems like im all for helping him out, but he never seems to do the same back. For instance, I previously liked his Facebook pages to show my support, he's also been a part of this CCBC tv show, and he was worried that his character would get kicked from the show, so to support him with "popularity", I tweeted about his character and did all the social media statuses to try and support him. But I think back, and never has he once liked any of my acting pages, he's only visited my website once because i asked him too...And it just seems strange, that you'd think he'd support me back, and it is a slight concern. I really like him, but I dont really know what to do in this situation.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2014):

Maybe he's weirded out because you're becoming more of a fan girl than a girlfriend. I would be a bit freaked.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2014):

Perhaps not only are you in the same industry, but he feels the competition. Don't stroke his ego so much; and mention that you value HIS support as well.

If you pile it on, he'll soak it up. He may just have a touch of narcissism. So tone down the "idolization" to a dull roar. You're without question his greatest fan, and he should show you the same enthusiasm. You want to swell his heart, not inflate his ego.

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A female reader, Innocentgirl United Kingdom +, writes (4 August 2014):

Innocentgirl is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I have previously mentioned that he hadn't liked my pages, and he responded with "Oh, but you haven't invited me on Facebook to like them" I said "Theres no need, its under my name its not hard to find" And he responded with ok and never did do it. I guess I'm just going to have to mention it to him..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2014):

You've only been dating 2 months, don't expect much support. Have you ASKED him to do those things (other than the one thing you said you asked him to do)? Maybe pull back some of the support you're offering him until/unless he starts doing it back.

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A female reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx United Kingdom +, writes (4 August 2014):

xTheAlmightyDuckx agony auntFirstly have you ever actually asked him to like your pages and help you out? Sometimes people need direction in relationships and if you don't ask, they normally won't think twice about it.

Maybe the reason he hasn't been giving you the help and support is because he thinks you are doing great already. Obviously the reason he asked you for some help was because he was worried he wasn't doing well enough, but maybe the reason he doesn't help you is because he thinks you are doing just fine.

Also is this the only thing which is one sided? If for example you are always doing things for him (not just to do with his job) and he never seems to do the same for you, this could be a bit of a bad sign and maybe it will give you an insight into where this relationship is going.

Also another reason why he maybe hasn't giving you any help and support is because he's been so consumed by his job. Like you said the acting industry is competitive and when your mind is taken over by job worries, it kind of stops you from taking the time to sit and think about anything besides your job.

I think you should just ask him to like your things, if he doesn't then maybe just sit down and ask him if there is anything on his mind, or if his job is taking up most of his thinking time, also remind him that you would like some extra support as you are in the same industry as him. I suspect that will do the trick. Good Luck x

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