A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,this is kind of long but please bear with me..I hope someone can help me out with some good advice...me and my ex boyfriend of a year and a couple months broke up about a month ago. We were still in contact the first week after the breakup and ended up having sex, he told me that he still loved me and missed me, and that he "wanted" to be with me but "couldnt." he wanted to remain friends but i knew deep down that couldnt happen. i found out from a mutual friend that 3 days after we had sex he had already gone to a party, met another girl, and hooked up with her. needless to say i was devastated. well, me and him talked one more time after this and it got really nasty and he ended up telling me to **** off. i couldnt stop thinking about him, or hoping for a reconciliation, and i even messaged him to say sorry for freaking out on him. he never answered. we went three straight weeks NC and it was so painful for me. no matter who i was around i felt lonely. no matter where i went or what i did it just wasnt the same without him by my side. so this weekend i went to a friends house for a party, drank quite a bit and my friend approached me saying my ex wanted to come and if id be okay with it. i agreed because part of me still really wanted to see him..and i was drunk so my judgement was off. when he showed up he did not talk to me wouldnt even look at me and made a time of flirting with one of my girlfriends alone in a bedroom. i was so hurt. i went downstairs with my best friend and had a good, drunken, sob right in the middle of the party. well, in the meantime, my ex drank almost a whole bottle of jim beam nearly by himself. he was falling down the stairs, falling on the ground and laughing his ass off. it was a pathetic sight. he started to get really bad and couldnt walk and fell outside. i went to help him...we talked and he asked me how i was doing, if i had met any other guys, and then told me to move on and forget about him. i asked if this was what he really wanted, he said yes. he told me he wanted to die and that there was no point in life, at this point he was apparently black out drunk. then he proceeded to hold me and fall all over me and he tried to kiss my neck, i told him he was too drunk and that he shouldnt do this. he got really sick so i brought him to the bathroom, held his head while he puked, cleaned up his vomit, tried getting him to a mattress, he couldnt make it so i rested his head on a pillow in the living room with a blanket. the next morning he called me telling me he blacked out, didnt remember a thing other than flirting with my friend at the party. i am so angry after everything i did for him trying to be a nice person. on the phone when i told him what happened he laughed...thought it was funny and apologized for trying to kiss me saying it was a mistake and he didnt want that to happen. then he accused me of stealing his cigarettes...asshole...after i didnt respond he kept texting me telling me how sorry he was and how he wished he was a better friend to me. i know this guy is a jerk and that i need to get over him but its so hard...i cant picture him with someone else and when i do i get so jealous and sad and hurt. i want to make him happy but i know i cant. what do i do???...we had so many good times together and its just so sad that we cant be civil or at least properly communicate. i have no idea whats going on in his head because of all these mixed signals
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best friend, broke up, drunk, flirt, jealous, move on, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): thanks ladies, i appreciate the feedback. im really trying and hopefully one day i can look back and laugh at my ignorance. i guess i just held on to all the things he said in the relationship, hoping they were true. i now know they're not and i need to force myself to let go as hard as it may be..
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (13 November 2010):
 STOP BEING WITH THIS GUY!!! There is nothing redeeming about him. And sister, never clean up puke unless it is yours, your kids, or your very best friend in all the world who you are 100% positive would do the exact same for you. This guy would not clean up your pule - in fact, he would accuse you of stealing his cigarettes as a thanks.
Use your anger and all the things that are crappy about him as fuel for why you're getting over him. Every time you think "I want to be with him", think "... BUT he is the world's biggest douche bag and I deserve a lot better". He is just kissing you and having sex with you post break up because he can. He's not committed to you - he's happy to have sex with others. He is having his cake and eating it to and you are letting him take advantage and use you. You are better than this! Than this guy!
Getting over someone is a pain in the ass, but in this case it is well worth the journey. He will do nothing good for you. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2010): That's rough. =( I'm sorry. But you really have to move on. You need to go NC completely and work on yourself and move on. I wish you the best.
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