A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Recently, i cheated on my boyfriend with his bestfriend, i feel really guilty about it and made up a different excuse to split up with him, his friend is acting like nothing has happened what can i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010): There is no way to candy coat this so here it is flat out.
You cheated on someone that was thinking he was special to you. Evadently he's not. You betrayed him and so did his so called best friend. Do the right thing for a change and tell him what the both of you have done to him. Then and only then can honesty be restored. To live a lie is worse than telling the truth. His friend isn't a friend and he DESERVES to know.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 February 2010):
Don't go back to either guy. You can't fix something like this without someone finding out what happened. If you try to go back to your boyfriend and his friend lets it slip, you're ion trouble. And if you cheated in the first place, your ex is not the guy for you. Otherwise you wouldn't have cheated. Spend time on yourself and really focus on what you want out of your life. But don't go back, because you're liable to get even more hurt should it come out, which it eventually will.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (26 February 2010):
 Nothing. You cast your lot. And by cheating with his best friend it will eventually come out. So since you are all young and immature they will eventually get into a fight and you will look like an idiot.
The only thing that can possibly save you is if you tell your ex the truth. He deserves that
Hope breaking up a friendship over sex and lies was worth it.
GROW UP!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010): If you actually love him alot, you can always try apologizing and see if he'll take you back. I take it you were confused afterward, and that's why you broke up. If you broke up because you thought you would be with his best friend instead, well then it's a different story and I would hope your now ex finds someone else who might treat him way better than that. It depends on your intentions.. If you were out to ditch the guy for his a-hole best friend who wouldn't even back you up after using you, too bad for you, and you should leave him alone to live a happier life, but if you just weren't thinking, and screwed up, then it depends how much you actually love him and wouldn't cheat again. Either way, you'll have to accept the responsibility of cheating on him, whether you want him back or not, but you can try to plead with him to keep you, and there might be a small hope he does. The guilt won't stop eating at you until you make your choice whether you still love him and want to be with him or love him and don't want to be with him or can't, because he kicks you to the curb.. Cheating hurts not just the one who got cheated on, but the one who cheated as well, so just tell yourself you'll be a better person and not be so selfish as to make such a tempting mistake next time. Only feel so low as to change that, but don't get too broken up inside, because it's a learning step in life that some people have to jump hurdles over in order to value themselves enough to make things work. All in all, it is a mistake, but it is inevitable that you will have to accept whatever happens between your old boyfriend and you as a consequence, whether you forgive yourself or not. Remember, just because he may be forgiving this time doesn't give you a free ticket to go out and hurt him the same later on, because once again, it amounts to a lesson you have to apply and hold to yourself never to fail. Only then can you give the person you love the respect they deserve. Try to find and keep peace within yourself, and just grow, so you don't stumble over the next guy and fall on your face again.
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A
female
reader, _Katy_Did_ +, writes (26 February 2010):
 Splitting with him was probably the best thing you could have done. We all make mistakes. But I can say (coming from someone who has been cheated on numerous times) that even if you try to forgive and take someone back after they have cheated, the feeling of hurt will always be there. You can bury it and pretend it never happened, but it comes back. Eventually, I had to end it with my ex because the memory of him cheating hurt so bad. It's up to you if you want to tell him. Would it do any good? If you were still in the relationship, I'd say be honest with him. But you're not and I'm not sure if you plan on trying to patch things up.
Do you feel like you want to tell him?
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