A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, this is a pretty big problem. Me and my gf have been together for 7 months now. Well the 7th Month was the shittiest ever. We had no sex what so ever and she was totally strange the whole time. We can only see eachother on the weekends because she lives pretty far away and works and I have to go to school. And in the 7th month we didnt even make it on the weekends because her parents have a restaurant and she had to help so I ended up doing sth with my friends. Things were going so shitty I was already asking myself if I still love her or not. Well on one of those weekends I met a girl she was real nice lives right around the corner and seemed to be digging .. well I was pretty drunk at the end of the evening, actually reeeeeally drunk, and she used the situation and started making out with me. The way things like this always end we had sex with eachother. The next day when I woke up next do a different chick I would of loved to punch me in the face, but this showed me that I still really do love my gf. Since then things have gotten lots better, too. But I can never tell her what happened because she would break up with me, and I swear that would be my deathsentence. But not telling her would be wrong to, but I wouldn't loose her, and I mean it was kind of to find out if I love her or not, and not an actual act of love. help me please!!
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female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (11 November 2011):
 I'm sorry but I just don't agree with the notion of sleeping with someone else to see if you still love your partner. If you have to even doubt your love for them for a second, you might as well just cut your losses now, instead of dragging her through the dirt until you make up your mind. No one want's a half-assed love.
A
male
reader, crosss129  +, writes (11 November 2011):
I am going to have to disagree with some of the people on here. I dont think you are a horrible person, and I dont think this is the worst thing to have done. If you are coming away from this experience with a new found realization that you love your GF, then that is a positive thing. I am in a similar situation... in a relationship for over a year and seriously questioning if I am still in love. I have had several blatant opportunities to cheat...like without question. Personally I did not because i just dont have the guts too. Im too honest. However, the reason I even considered it is because I wanted to know how I would feel...if I want to continue in this relationship or if I want to be out there being with other people. So to that extent, i understand why you did what you did. That being said, you did cheat, and frankly its a matter of your guilty conscious. If you can live with this no problem, and if she finds out it will definitely end this relationship, then I say live with it. If you cant live with the guilt (like me) then you have no choice to tell her and live with the consequences. Guilt is a powerful thing...it can affect you mentally, physically, emotionally etc. Probably not worth. Frankly at your young age, she will probably not be the only GF you will have, but for the time being if you care about her then either live with it if you can, or play your hand and tell her and see what happens. Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): All I can say is I stick to what I said, and everyone else. You need to tell her it is cowardly and disgusting to not tell someone you cheated they deserve to know. If you were so drunk you can't guarantee you used protection and how would you like her to find out you cheated by having an STI herself! Plus neither of you could have symptoms but if she doesnt get checked out she could become infertile and never have kids, all because you were not man enough to admit your mistake.
Be honest because you could get her back in the long run but if she finds out at a much later date I can't imagine you being forgiven.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionits not like I wanted to cheat on her .. i was so drunk i literally have no clue what happened in that night. even though its kind of unbelievable she was insistant. all i know is that i was away and met her when i was already really drunk.the next thing i know is that i woke up in bed next to her. Its not like I said that I want to have sex with her to find out if I love my gf. but after it happened it showed me that I love my gf to much. and if i would have been sober enough i can guarantee it wouldve never have happened ..
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A
female
reader, adamantine +, writes (7 November 2011):
What? Did I just read that correctly?
Sorry to be harsh but this is ridiculous.
You cheated to see if you loved her? Are you going to cheat on her every single time things turn sour, just to see if you still love her??? This is how cheaters justify their actions.
The whole point to a relationship is that you pull through the tough times together, and work things out together. You completely left her in the dark.
You need to tell her, because she has a right to know. You were dishonest, and you are also exposing her to a number of STD's if the sex was unprotected. She has a right to know that her partner was unfaithful and that her health could possibly be at risk. You need to tell her as she is a human being who deserves the respect of her partner.
Once you tell her, she needs to make the decision as to whether she will stay with you or not. It is not up to you.
News flash. If you DID love her, you wouldn't have cheated in the first place. Your logic is flawed, sir.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (7 November 2011):
 your guilt is telling you its love. your heart already told you it wasn't. leave her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2011): How can you cheat to find out if you love her!!! You obviously dont if you think its okay to cheat! it is DISRESPECTFUL and completely selfish if you think you deserve to be with her after that!Dya no what, If there was a chance I could tell this girl what you done I would, expeshally since you come on here afterward looking for sympathy. Do her the biggest favour. Stop thinking of yourself and break up with her. Im sure she doesnt deserve a man like you who runs off and sleeps with "the girl next door" when she doesnt feel like having sex.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (6 November 2011):
 This is about the stupidest thing I've ever heard, you cheated to find out whether you love your gf still?
So what if she dumps you, that's your own fault, why the hell would you cheat to come to this conclusion??
Its up to you whether your conscience is guilty enough to tell your gf or not, if she breaks up with you: TOUGH! Don't cheat, let this be a lesson.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2011): I think you were really stupid to use cheating as an excuse to find out you loved her. The kindest thing you could do is tell her because it's not fair on her to dedicate more time to you when to be honest you don't deserve it because you are lying to her.
If she doesn't take you back then learn a lesson never to do it again and if she does then count yourself lucky and never do of again!!!
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