A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I know my hubby for 18 years of which we married for 10 years. Although I came close to cheating on him, I didn't actually ever kiss anyone (French kiss). I was so proud of this as most of my friends have cheated on their spouses. That was up until a few months back when I was almost forced to touch and kiss my good friends husband. He made advances towards me for the first time in 13 years that we know each other and it ended up with me performing oral sex on him. We were both very drunk n "talking" outside my home when this all happened. I felt disgusted. But although I also verbally flirted, it didn't give him the right to physically force himself on me as I was also pushing him away several times but he never backed down. I couldn't stop thinking about it after n he apologized n said he was sorry etc. But something changed in my mind a month later and I wanted to be around him. I called him one evening when his kids came to sleep over and my hubby was not here and this time we were drinking but not drunk like the last time and I carried in flirting cos I wanted to see what he would say and do. I allowed him to kiss me once and it felt good and he kissed my breasts. He also asked me to perform oral again saying no one had done it in the way I did but I said no and stopped everything. He left. Now when we all get together he comes on to me when he's drunk but I also continue flirting and I keep him in mind when I dress cos I want him to want me yet I don't intend going all the way meaning sex. Our partners are often in the same house n a few feet away but he touches my rear and pulls me to kiss him etc. he is so daring and takes grave chances. But he also says I flirt with him n talk dirty n then when he wants me I give in partially and then stop saying I can't do this to my hubby n friend. He says he doesn't know what I want. I know I don't love him n I never will but I love the attention. I love him looking at me when I wear my tight mini skirts etc n fantasizing about me. I like giving in to a certain extent but not all the way cos that will mean he's had me n kinda like been there done that. But now I realize that this is dangerous territory n not fun. If his wife found out I'll be ruined. She's a fighter n can be wicked and evil. She also sleeps around n cos we are good friends she tells me but I don't think she has done anything with my hubby so if she found out, even though her hubby and I have not slept with each other, she would taint our name with everyone n bring my reputation into disrepute. I'm also battling to come to terms with the fact that I have actually betrayed my hubby for the first time and with someone who should be out of bounds. I'm quite a wreck as you can gather and don't know what to feel or do anymore. Then when it comes close to the wknd I get excited about what I'm going to wear and what he's going to think of me etc. I also analyse some things he says n does like when his friend looked me up n down when I was wearing my tight shorts n said I lost a lot of weight. My friends hubby then jokingly asked him why he's looking at my legs. Even in the past he used to always be jealous when other guys flirted with me.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 November 2016):
 You are playing a dangerous game here. You need to decide what is more important risking your marriage and hurting your husband or continuing to get a bit off attention. You are being a cock tease to your friends husband, it is dangerous. You are also not being a great friend or wife. So what if you have not had sex with him. Some will say oral is a lot worse. If you love your husband then stop inviting your friend and her husband around, stop putting temptation in your way. Maybe instead of having them around you and your husband can have more romantic nights in rebuilding the spark. If the shoe was the other way around how would you feel if your husband received oral from your friend and was kissing her boobs?!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2016): Is that how it is these days,when you seduce a lady you unsip your fly and stick your cock in her mouth? When I was dating a few years back daring a french kiss with a partner was the ultimate in noughtiness. anyway the choice is in your hand. You can stop this affair here and now and resist his advances and threaten you tell his wife if he doesnt stoo or carry on as you have been doing and hope no one finds out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2016): You sound like a desperate housewife out of some predictable and badly written soap opera. Do you live in Knots Landing? You might be too young to remember that show.Frankly, I have no empathy for you.It looks like you are just "that type."You are selfish and entitled and have this constant need for attention. That is kind of sad. Something is very wrong with your relationship with your husband. Have you ever addressed that? Talked to YOUR husband instead of running off and wanking the first cock that comes your way??? I suspect there is much more than meets the eye. When did the DISCONNECT with your husband take place and how long has your marriage been on LIFE SUPPORT? We don't know your relationship history.Do you really think - be honest here - that this will be the ONLY time you do this? I don't think so. Once is never enough. You will continue for as long as you can get away with it. But remember, you will one day get caught. And then it won't be so fun anymore. You really have no idea of the repercussions and fall out. Once the shit hits the fan, you will wish you never laid eyes upon this other man.You don't need MEN to USE you in order to feel good about yourself.In fact, the opposite is true. You should be feeling stripped of your own value and degraded.He was USING you. You are JUST a sex toy. Why wouldn't a guy get some side action if he could? It's something a little different, something new. That is all.Worth risking your marriage just to get a little, fleeting ego boost on the side?Got news for you: You ain't all that special. You are a desperate, weak woman. He is a typical man. He knew how to break you down to get what he wanted from you. SEX! It's all they ever want! He is the one who took advantage of you. And you feel proud of yourself? Like you are special? Well, you aren't. You were/are just EASY and willing and available. Got more news for you: He would have taken advantage of any woman who said "let's go."I would tell your husband. Come clean. He deserves the truth. Then - IF he decides to give you another chance- be prepared to work your ass off to EARN his forgiveness and get your marriage back on track. That means cutting all contact with this man and stop flirting with any man who gives you a second glance. You need some therapy as a couple. YOU also need therapy for yourself individually. It will be A LOT of work. Compared to fucking around, it is not so much fun. But if you ARE serious about your husband and are genuinely remorseful, you will do the right thing.Be honest with your husband about how he has been lacking. Perhaps something led you to cheat. BUT I will say and I am firm about this: NO MATTER WHAT YOUR HUSBAND DID TO NEGLECT YOU OR NOT PAY ENOUGH ATTENTION, THE ANSWER IS NOT IN GETTING ATTENTION FROM OTHER MEN. You HAD A CHOICE. You CHOSE to cheat. This is NOT your husband's fault. He could neglect you or not pay attention, whatever. YOU are the ONE who cheated on HIM. YOU MADE THAT DECISION AND YOU ARE IN THE WRONG.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (8 November 2016):
 I don't think you should feel 'proud' for not cheating. I think that's just an unconscious decision you agree to make when you get together with someone. It's not a cause for celebration as it's expected of an honest partner.
I think you need to have a ponder whether these encounters are worth risking your marriage. If your husband is not giving you the attention you clearly desire then I think you need to raise this issue with him.
I don't think you feel as bad as you say you do or else you wouldn't continue to behave the way you are doing.
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A
female
reader, PhiliGirl +, writes (8 November 2016):
 Hmmmmm. I dont think you dont love your husband, else you wouldn't feel guilty. I think the two of you have just lost your spark. Getting told by the same person everyday that your beautiful just doesn't have the same effect as a stranger telling you for the first time..... I would end it, there is way too much at stake. Its not just having fun anymore (that would be harmless flirting), but now that it has gone further, it will lead to FAMILIES being broken apart. Innocent children will suffer that didn't ask for anything. I would suggest to talk to your husband. Let him know that you are feeling excited when getting hit on yet guilty. Maybe do something as a couple. Some friends of mine (dating for 8 years) decided to join a swingers club when they were going through hard times. I didnt agree and honestly thought it would ruin them. However, they are happier than ever and FINALLY deciding to get married. Different strokes for different folks, you just need to find one that works for you and your hubby to reignite that spark. I hope i could be some help. Good Luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2016): I guess it's time you stop the games. If you want to be single, perhaps you might want to consider a divorce; so you can have flings without guilt. You apparently have children, so it's not just your husband you're betraying. It's your family as well.
Your flirtations, drunk or sober, are a choice. You are not in-love with the man; and judging by your behavior, you're not in-love with your husband either. Wives who truly love their husbands don't give other women's husbands oral sex or allow them to grope and touch them.
You're getting reckless with your marriage; because you want to get caught. You're bored and unsatisfied with what you have, or you wouldn't place so much on the line.
All for attention from a drunken cheat? How does that validate you in anyway? He's dragging you down to his level.
If the other woman is evil as you say; "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." I would say it's just a matter of time. What about what your child or children will go through?
You're tempting fate and begging for your karma.
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