A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I cheated on my wife, when we first got married. We only dated for 2 months before getting married, so we definitely got married to quickly. It has been almost 2 years since then, and I know that I love her more than anything, and she is still with me and loves me. But what can I do to help her get over what has happened? Is counseling going to be enough for us?
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (13 September 2009):
I'm assuming that she found out about this after the fact.
The only thing you can do with her is to constantly reassure her that this was a one-time thing.
One thing you can do, which is a trust issue, is sit down with her and affectionately and lovingly, gently as possible, explain to her that you love her more than anything and anyone in the world. Ask her if the one time you messed up is still bothering her and tell her that you're ashamed of having done that to her.
Let her know that you would do anything you can to take the pain away and be there for her and that you can't stop feeling terrible about this until she's finally over the hurt. Tell her that you're suffering because she's hurt.
If she's still got problems with it, go to counseling with her, and keep trying with her.
Its apparent that she loves you, and you love her deeply. There's no reason why you should have this problem going on like this.
I know it takes time for people to get over the pain. What you did broke her heart but she still loves you and that's very important.
A few other things you can do for her is make as much time as you can for her and never neglect her needs. She's still vulnerable over this apparently and she has a right to be comforted in her pain too. You can help her try and get over it.
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