A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my husband and i separated while we were split up i had an affair with his brother. I understand wat i did was wrong. I wanna fix things with my husband, but he keeps telling me he doesnt know, and he has another girlfriend. How do i get him back after the horrible thing i done?
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affair, cheated on my husband, split up Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2012): Another vote that this cannot be salvaged. Learn from this mistake and move on.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2012): I'm glad your husband has moved on: finding out that his wife was sleeping with his brother must have devastated him. He's got a new girlfriend, doesn't he? So please let him be. You blew it (pardon the pun) when you had sex with his bother. Hun, there are few non negotiables in life and having sex with your husbands brother is one of them.
LoveGirl
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 June 2012):
I will defend you in that when you did what you did, you were separated.
But, in all fairness to your husband, it must have been a massive blow to know that you'd done it with his brother. If that happened to me, I know that neither my girlfriend or my brother would be in my life again.
Sadly for you, I think this is the case for your husband. What has happened here is too much for him, and I don't think that this can be fixed, because it'll create such a mess.
The best thing you can now do is realize that this marriage is over, take some time and be yourself, and move on. I just can't see how this can work now this has happened.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (26 June 2012):
This is not a fixable problem. For all of the men in the world, you chose his brother. You couldnt have made a worse and more final choice. For his brother to even entertain it - he must be a real winner as well.
Your relationship with your future ex-husband is completely over. Move on, and hopefully you will make better choices moving forward.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (26 June 2012):
You might need to accept that what you did was too much for your husband to forgive. It’s a line which, once you cross it, you can never go back. What’s more, if he has another girlfriend it sounds like he’s decided to move on, maybe you should do the same. If there’s any chance that this marriage can be rebuilt, it’s going to require a huge commitment and a great deal of hard work. If his response is that he doesn’t know what he wants, it sounds like he doesn’t want to put that huge amount of effort in to rebuilding the marriage, for which you can hardly blame him. Maybe he knows that he could never forgive you, or that the betrayal was just too much for him. On the basis of the fact that he seems to have moved on, I’m afraid you need to do the same and accept that it’s over.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2012): it seems like he`s being sensible and moving on. you say you know what you did was wrong, but i don`t think you realize just how unforgivable your act was. you need to work on yourself, not on getting him back.
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