A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:um this is sorta weird but here goes, I'm in a situation were i cheated on the girl i love. i'm only 14 but i know i'm in love because whenever i hear her voice or see her my heart pounds and i get realy hot and she makes me feel good and happy. we've gone out (in the figurative way we haven't realy gone out like to the movies) like three times now and all those times i've screwed up and it sucks because i know it hurts her every time i do it. it makes me sad because i can't control myself. but thats just part of the problem, the big part of it is we currently aren't going out but i want to get back together with her and she still loves me and i her, but i need to figure out how to stop being a crackhead (for lack of swearing) but i love her so much and i don't know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionalright I should probably add something to this. um thanks for all the feed back and the first two I would agree with aswell seeming as I am young but to answer the "You cant fully love untill you have lusted" you'd be suprised at the things I've done in my life since I was ten and she lives pretty far away so its hard to go out on a date that and I got to get my drivers license before I can even take her out like I want to
and the cheating part wasn't really cheating but it was in ways. its really confusing but i know one thing and thats that I know i'm in love with her. because i've never done so much to get a girl back as i have this one but thank you all for the advice.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): Your too young to be in a relationship.
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A
female
reader, Eerie +, writes (15 June 2009):
Girls don't go out with guys who cheated on them; those that do usually end up breaking the relationship later anyway.Also, as much as I don't want to offend you, if you cheated on her, then it's not love. Love is what compels you to stay with that one person you want to be with for the rest of your life. I think that "hot, happy" feeling is hormones.And a forewarning: girls talk about being cheated on to other girls.
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A
female
reader, LRKLMH +, writes (15 June 2009):
 Hi- My advice maybe a little taboo but i will try to think more along the lines of you. I do agree with some of your responses your 14 and that's a little young to feel your completely in love but I was 15 when i got a mans name tattooed on me. If you love her tell her about it and keep honest communication, if she can trust you that will always help. It also maybe best if you two agree to be single but hold off on dating others. So that you can get the feel for if you are ready to step up to the plate and be in an adult relationship. If you have already had sex with her this maybe complicated but if not I would suggest you two don't start. Slow things down, start at the basics and work your way up in the end if it works your relationship will be sturdier. I would also say take her on real dates and such trust me it helps to get the feel for a relationship.
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A
female
reader, baby_tinney +, writes (15 June 2009):
 ok you are 14 you need to be 14 you have your whole life to love.You cant fully love untill you have lusted.I know it sucks but you need to be 14 for now and when you are older if its right yall will be together untill then you realy do need to stop playing with this girls heart.
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A
female
reader, Laura M  +, writes (15 June 2009):
wow ur in a big mess, i reckon you should just tell her how you feel, and the reasons why you always mess up. but as into the cheating part..why would you cheat or be with someone you didnt love? thats the weird part, but i think you should just be honest with her
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A
female
reader, love-struckxo  +, writes (15 June 2009):
 You need to figure out why you keep on hurting her, if you claim you 'love' her so much.Do you hurt her, because your afraid to be hurt? You don't know what to do with your feelings? or is just because, you think you love her but really you don't? or is it something else completely?This is up for you to decide, prepare, and think about.It's not fair to her for you to do this. Obviously she has real feelings for you, so stop playing with them, and figure out what you want.If you do get a second chance, which I'm not sure whether or not you deserve one.. then you have to make a promise to her, and yourself that you will do your best to be a great boyfriend. No more of this cheating nonsense!If you feel like you can't do this, and you will just keep repeating the same mistakes over and over, then pull out of this now. It's not just your feelings you have to think about, it's hers too..Ask yourself this: What is best for her?Take carexx
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (15 June 2009):
 Let me tell you something. When you love someone, you don't cheat on them. When you love someone, you realize your limits and you avoid situations that might lead you to messing around with someone else. You plan ahead. I love someone with all my heart, and I keep out of potential environments where I might cheat. Like getting really drunk at parties. I realize my limits and even though I might not have as much fun, I'm willing to sacrifice on the fear that I might mess my relationship up. That's what love is. You don't love this girl. You are going through some hormone rush that has nothing to do with the concept of love. You need to call things off with her because they obviously aren't working, and she's obviously not important enough, and do some growing up. You'll know you're in love when you don't find yourself wanting to seriously screw around with other people.
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