A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:15 months ago I cheated (i gave a friend a hand job) on my at the time boyfriend (we got engaged 3 months after it happened) now we are getting married in 1 and a half weeks and I am wondering if I should tell him? In all actuality we were in a rough patch of our relationship and the cheating made me realize that the man I am now about to marry truly is the one for me and I know I will never cheat again. Should I tell him?????
View related questions:
engaged, hand-job Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): Don't tell him - you may feel the need to unburden yourself, to get this off your conscience, but if you love him and he loves you and things are back on track then don't tell him as you will only cause him great pain and possibly end a relationship that means a lot to you. Stay quiet, stick with it, and try and make the best of things as they are now. And if you are ever, ever tempted to do anything with someone else again think about how terrible you are feeling right now and use this as a lesson about how easily quick thrills and false comfort can take away something precious to you.
Good luck with the wedding, and I hope that you have many happy and faithful years together.
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (1 July 2008):
 i dont think you should tell him - unless of course there is any risk of him finding out! im presuming it was a once off thing that happened and obviously it made you realise wat you have with the man your going to marry. telling him will only break his heart, stop the wedding and make the two of you miserable. however i must stress that if there is even the slightest chance of him finding out then you should tell him. if he finds out on his own then not only are you a cheater but your also a liar and all trust and therefore any chance of a repaired relationship is out the window.
...............................
A
female
reader, O Connor +, writes (1 July 2008):
i dont think you should tell him - unless of course there is any risk of him finding out! im presuming it was a once off thing that happened and obviously it made you realise wat you have with the man your going to marry. telling him will only break his heart, stop the wedding and make the two of you miserable. however i must stress that if there is even the slightest chance of him finding out then you should tell him. if he finds out on his own then not only are you a cheater but your also a liar and all trust and therefore any chance of a repaired relationship is out the window.
...............................
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (1 July 2008):
 Don't rock the boat is one option. By not telling him he might never find out and if you can life with the lie things might work out for the best.
But if he finds out on his own. Then not only will you have cheated on him you will also be a liar and that is far far worse. Because if you then tell him that this was the only time you cheated on him, why is he supposed to believe that?
Your choice. Say nothing and hope it all works out or speak out and accept whatever may happen.
What would you prefer? To be kept ignorant or to hear the painful truth? Treat others as you wish to be treated yourself is my motto.
...............................
A
female
reader, xcharlottex +, writes (1 July 2008):
Dont tell him, the only thing that will happen is you'll cause more pain, and hurt in the relationship, you've done the deed and having to live with knowing you've done it is the price you pay. It would be selfish if you told him.
...............................
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (1 July 2008):
 Hi,
I really cannot see why you would even contemplate telling him. The only possible consequence I could see would be that he would call off the wedding. Unless of course this is what you secretly want? Is your blood boiling over my last question, if it is then why are you still thinking about telling him.
I think I know why, because it is eating you up, but you did cheat on him so you are going to have to deal with it yourself that is the price you pay for your infidelity. Why bring the person you love into something he has no control over and will only make him feel bad?
I know some aunts will say that you should fess up, and they may be right , your husband to be may forgive you straight away, but I doubt it, at the very least he will be shocked and at worst will call off the wedding.
If you truly love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him , stop thinking about the past, live each day as it comes with your husband to be and enjoy life to the full.
Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, BFG +, writes (1 July 2008):
No, put it behind you and be happy together
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): God no..... Get on with your lives together and be happy :-)
...............................
|
