A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i recently have cheated on my girlfriend of almost 6yrs. We have been dating since we were 15 and now we our 22 about to graduate college. about a month ago i cheated with a 28 yr girl that had picked me up at a bar. at the time our relationship was really bad and there was a serious lack of affection and love on my gf part as she admits. however it doesnt make cheating ok. this girl made me feel "wanted" again so i went with it and invited her to my house the night after we hookup at the bar. we did not have sex just kissing but she like me so much she wanted me to fly to see her and at first i was considering it. a few days after i cheated my gf asked to talk me. we talked about fixing our relationship for good and understanding eachothers needs and our relationship was going great of course after i had just cheated. so i then cancelled everything with this girl and just wanted it to go away but my gf found the email i sent her telling her how i cannot talk to her anymore. she then broke up with me and the past month we are still talking and she is trying to be friends. i have recently been going to therapy and she is very supportive of this and says it proves alot to her. however i want her back so bad and dont know how to go about getting her back in my life and gaining her trust back which is a key part of a relationship. keep in mind she has been cheated on b4 and is very strong on her thoughts of never dating me again after this only being friends. i cant seem to accept that. i know begging wont help and she needs space,but im afraid as more time goes by the more she will be able to get over me. how do i show here how sorry i am and that i am willing to do anything to get her back and regain her trust. i just dont know how to show her these things. do i remain friends? do i continue to only contact her when she intiates it?
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broke up, cheated on my girlfriend, kissing, needs space Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 March 2010):
 Anonymous, I'm afraid she won't trust you again. Something has changed forever. I'm also afraid that your trying to do "anything" for her will be useless, as you can't prove you'll stay faithful.
I'm afraid she might be leading you on with this "we're still talking" thing. She keeps you in no man's land: you're not her anything, but still you have to behave as if you were her everything. If she's not leading you on, the situation does lend itself to it.
I don't think this is a case for therapy, either. It's just a matter of learning your lesson and leaving gracefully.
I know it's not that easy, but you should ask her where you're going with her. If she won't give a clear answer, well, leave.
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