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female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm 17 years old and have been with my boyfriend for One year and three months about six months into the relationship I cheated on him with a male friend of mine. About a month later I told him and he still hasn't got over it and is becoming more controlling about what I do. How should I handle this? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2005): Cheating is not acceptable in a relationship your lucky he decided he loves you enough to stay with you..this is your fault for cheating so it is up to you to work hard at this relationship and prove yourself to him and gain his trust back..this time dont ruin the trust to work to get back.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2005): its good that you told him you should never keep secrets from each other he is proberbly more scared of losing you thats wat the controlling comes down to
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female
reader, Kay-the-Cloud +, writes (15 October 2005):
If you cheated on him, then why didn't you just break the relationship up and be with that other guy? You partner must really like you for not breaking up with you before. If he can't handle it, then move on. He can't control you and you shouldn't of cheated on him so just break up. It's for the best
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2005): Do you honestly think that the guy should tolerate and handle you cheating on him well? What if the same happened to you? I would doubt it that you would handle it differently. End the relationship. I for one would never tolerate a cheater so I hope you get cheated on someday. Maybe then you will feel his pain.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2005): First I would like to say you did the right thing by telling your boyfriend because it sounds like you want to get real with yourself and who you are. I am in the exact same situation as you, I cheated on my boyfriend after 7 years of being together, (I'm 23) it happened 5 months ago and we are still pulling through day by day literally.
If both of you had serious trust before, then that is out the window and maybe for life, if he really loves you he will try and work it out with you and you should do the same. Tell each other your feelings and thoughts of every moment, because you have to ensure him that you will nevr do this again. You have to prove to him that he can trust you. Most guys, when a girl cheated on them, they will label her as a h**, unfortunately. If he is a good person meaning he puts you first and will be there through the tough times, then you should put your feet down and try and keep him.
To be honest it's him that has to make the ultimate decision to be with you since his heart was probably broken, but you can help by showing your honesty,& loyalty. If that means he has to go everywhere with you, let him, if he calls you more often, let him. Because if and when he's gone, he will be gone for life.
The key in every relationship no matter how old we are is communication and trust, without those a relationship is nothing. If you are not ready to deal with him keeping up with your every move and your not ready for a relationship, then I advise you to let him go and be at peace in his heart. It is very important to be true to ourselves and respect ourselves and make no excuses for any choice we make.
I hope this note helps you in your situation, Good Luck!
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reader, pops +, writes (14 October 2005):
You have apologized I suspect, but you should never have said anything to him to begin with. The first rule of Cheating is " Don't rub your SO's nose in it. You know why you cheated. If you cannot be happy with your SO, then leave him. You are far too young to be expected to be celibate, or faithful to one man. Give yourself a break. Sleeping with a guy does not make you the town slut ! It just means you have a healthy sexual appetite and a willingness to scratch an itch when you choose. Guys who try to control you are insecure jerks, and you should get as far away from him as possible. Those are the types who will never forget an indiscretion and beat you with it all the rest of your life together. Dump him, and move on.
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