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female
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*oannahunni
writes: My name is Joanna. I have been in a realsionship together with my boyfriend for five months now. We have so many problems because of his ex girlfriend. They were together for five years. When I first got together with this man, He said that he did not want to spend his time even thinking about his ex because of how badly she treated him. Over the last month and a half now they have more contact together than me and my boyfriend have. He has also said that she was his best friend now. I have tried explaining to my bf that his ex only wants contact now with him because she realises he is not running after her now, which he was doing for 3 months, and that he is happy with me. He doesnt see that she wants us to split up. She would write msg's to him and at the end she would write ,all my love to you forever, kiss. My boyfriend and I were on the verge of splitting up over this. Then, only last weekend he found out that his ex was on a mission to split us up and he said to me he would never have contact with this girl again, sworn on our love. He said he would never speak to her and if she tried to speak to him, he would call me straight away. Only today i looked through my bf's phone and found a video made last night of them two together, in her house. I did not say anything to him and i dont think he knows i left. Please Please help me. My mind is all messed and I need a professional's opinion. I'm in the state of mind were I'm not even going to txt, call him and tell him it's over because of the satisfactory of making his mind at rest. I hope you understand and help me. Thankyou.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2005): He's lies, gone against something you felt strongly about and all the rest..you can do better than him youve got to let go and move on..find someone that you can get the committment and respect you want and deserve from.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2005): Joanna-you were entangled in a difficult relationship that repeatedly hurt, frustrated or disappointed you and I am so sorry you had to endure all this. You may feel compelled to reunite with your bf because it can be scary at first to face the world without him. But if you allow yourself to feel your fear and your longing and really sit with those emotions, you will eventually come to terms with your feelings. The strength and independence that you can find through doing this, is so much more stable and satisfying than being with someone who will treat you like 'leftovers' whenever his ex-gf decides she no longer wants him. And it will happen again, hun and you need to be strong and move on with your life..without him or you will keep shortchanging yourself to finding that one wonderful man out there, that will priorize you in his life. You do deserve to be treated as number one...not the girl on the "backburner" for some guy that can't make up his mind about who he wants to be with. Accept that it's done and he made his choice. I know it hurts like hell, dear but the sooner you can accept this-the sooner you can heal and recover from this bad situation. It's obvious your bf was not totally "over" his ex when he started dating you and the problem was inside him, it was not anything you did. I'm just sorry you got caught in the crossfire and you were hurt. Take this pain and learn something good from it. When you do find another person to date and spend time with, make sure he is over the "baggage of past relationships" and is not going to use you as a healing balm for his pain. Make sure though before you date anyone else, that you have fully recovered from all this. You want to venture into new relationships with a healthy, happy, confident outlook on life. That will be the most respectful, fair thing to do for yourself and the new man, who is lucky to love you. Be strong...keep your chin up and I'm behind you all the way, girl. (hugs for you) Take care
Irish
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female
reader, sexseahot  +, writes (14 October 2005):
 I agree with eyeswideopen. Just leave this guy and get on with your life. Obviously he didn't care too much about your feelings so why would you do him the favor of caring??? YOU DON'T!! This guys not worth any kind of attention or explanation of why you're leaving. You're way better off without him and find yourself someone that is going to commit to you and not be hung up on his ex. That's just trouble.
Good Luck!
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 October 2005):
 Yeah, you are doing the right thing. Don't talk to the lying son of a B and just get on with your life. You caught him on the rebound and it was never going to fly so just get moving. And don't waste any tears on the pig either! Good luck, Kiddoo!
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