A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for two years and two months. The most we've ever gone is oral. This summer, I met this guy, who's 21 and he's five years older than me. Ever since we've been talking nonstop, basically I've been cheating on my boyfriend. The 21 year old is here this weekend and last night I lost my virginity to him. The thing that bothers me is.. I don't feel guilty. I don't feel the urge to tell my boyfriend about it. I don't know what to do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): Really, is everyone here missing the point?
We call that statutory rape in my area of the country, as well as many others. Rape. Consent has nothing to do with it in this case.
You are 16, he's 21, and you had sex with him. This is an abuse of power. This guy knew exactly what he was doing, and that was a girl who was much easier to manage than a woman of 21.
It may take you 25 years to understand this, and you may never understand it unless you have teenage daughters.
You need to talk to someone, and your boyfriend is not the person to talk to.
Do you have parents?
Washington enacted a law similar to Florida in which a person 16 or 17 may consent to sexual activity with a person not more than 59 months (4 years 11 months) older. (For example it is illegal for a 21 year old to have sex with a 16 year old; it is illegal for a 22 year old to
have sex with a 17 year old).
Did you use alcohol or drugs?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): if you don't care why are you on here asking us what to do?
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (27 November 2010):
It seems very clear that the relationship with your boyfriend is over and that you should end it.
You have proved this yourself by talking to this 21y/o since the summer, meeting up with him, having sex and feeling no guilt.
Whether you tell your bf that you slept with someone else is up to you.
As I've said, you should end your relationship, but at the same time don't expect to jump straight into another with this other guy.
It may be something that happens, it may turn out to be just a bit of a fling, or worse for you he may have just got what he wanted.
You are young and you will learn lessons in life. If you don't then you're heading for trouble.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): It doesn't seem as if you care for the guy. You cheated on him and gave up your virginity to a guy you aren't in a relationship.
The answer to your "question" is pretty obvious; terminate the relationship.
You aren't faithful and it seems like you don't want commitment.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 November 2010):
If you don't feel guilty, and you don't feel the urge to tell your boyfriend, and you've been talking to this other guy for a while, then your relationship with your boyfriend is over. You're still young, and you would do far better to let your boyfriend go for his sake and for yours. You simply don't love him or respect him, and it would be unfair to continue with him knowing that you haven't been committed.
Don't tell him what happened. Just tell him he's a nice guy, and let him go find someone who will commit and cut contact. This won't work, and if it's found out, you'll get a reputation as a cheat and someone who's untrustworthy.
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A
female
reader, :)31215 +, writes (27 November 2010):
 Well then he deserves someone way better then you.
I suggest you break up with him.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (27 November 2010):
 So what exactly is your question?
You cheated on you boyfriend and you don't feel guilty that you did..and you really don't care to tell him. So break up with him then? Because you don't love him, and you don't have any remorse. Nor do I see any want from you wanting to be with your boyfriend. Do yourself and your boyfriend a favor and break up with him. You cheated on him, since you aren't going to confess you at least owe it to him to cut ties.
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