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age
30-35,
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writes: Hi.So, I'm 18 now from the last time I posted, which I was 17...I now have a new relationship, been with this guy for 6 months. anyway it's been the hardest relationship I have been in.First of all I will state that after my ex, I went into a period of sleeping around...anyway...The guy I have been with for 6 months, I cheated on (first week and second week into our relationship) both once each, he confronted me about it, I lied about it and did so for 2 - 3 months, I have made up countless stories to try and get him to stop bringing it up, he has said to stop bringing it up, but he brings up something "simular" Look, I love the guy I'm with (regardless of what I did) but he keeps bringing it up, even stuff I did before I even met him!If you have any advice in which to give so I can try and make him stop bringing up things. It would be appreciated, I know what I did was wrong,I would never do it again! but having to be reminded of it is doing my head in.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (12 January 2012):
I do think that the best thing to do is end it too. I don't think from what you've said that he'll get over it, and more to the point he's now telling you that you've ruined your life, which isn't so. There's way too much negativity here, and for both your sakes it's probably best that it ends.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2012): been with this guy for 6 months"
"I cheated on (first week and second week into our relationship) both once each"
"I lied about it"
"did so for 2 - 3 months"
"I have made up countless stories"
All in six months. It takes two years or more to get over cheating...seriously...lying and other issues just prolong that. This is not an exaggeration.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah,
well he keeps blaming himself for the things I did, Said and thinks I was happier rooting around then leave, no commitments and being able to do what I want, He thinks he has ruined my life, I have re assured him that he hasn't ruined my life, that he's made it better, and he also says he's happy being with me?
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (11 January 2012):
 He has already shown he will not, or cannot, drop this, so now you need to decide, another 66 years of having your past actions, and past actions of your family members, thrown in your face or not.
Personally I think you should just save yourself further grief and end it.
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male
reader, JakeChaucer  +, writes (11 January 2012):
I have no idea why he stayed with you. Best bet is break things off for him
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2012): CaringGuy is right OP, what do you expect? This is guy is very hurt and it's still very raw and fresh for him. When it's all he can think about then it makes sense he'll keep bringing it up.
You either have to tolerate this or move on. I say move on OP. You're obviously not ready for this kind of relationship. I'm not saying that because you cheated, you seem to have moved past that part but there's no way in hell you should be making up stories still and he can't seem to move past this so you are just incompatible with this guy. He simply seems to not be able to trust you and I you can fully understand why really, you might be over cheating on him but he's not and probably won't be for along time.
You lied for half your relationship, you cheated on him twice, and you keep looking for ways to "shut him up" because it makes you feel bad? You're not ready for this at all. You need to move on and take this relationship as a lesson learned. If you lie and cheat, then you can't expect nice things to happen.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah alright, So i did wrong, I know that!
I have said to him "I don't deserve you" "you don't deserve this" but he comes back with "No I don't, but I wanted you so you are stuck with me"
Tonight, I distanced myself from him when he came to tea, he said I'm like my ex and the guy i cheated on my boyfriend with, even called me by there usual names!
He also says stuff about my ex (who cheated on me) saying I love my ex more cause I never cheated on him -.-
He also brings my father up, cause when my parents were together, my father cheated on my mum and he says "your just like your father"
Though through all this he has said that he wants a future with me and also keeps asking me to marry him!!!? (now don't forget we have been together 6 mths) he promises me he won't bring it up, but then manages to over and over.
He has also stated that he will get over it one day?
:/
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2012): I agree with Caring Guy. He is acting hurt because you did a hurtful thing.
As for your BF being upset about stuff you did before you were with him . . . it's technically not fair for him to feel this way. But it's also COMPLETELY NORMAL for him to feel this way. Men are built differently than women. Different things are unattractive to them in a long term partner.
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (11 January 2012):
Tell him you current life expectancy for females in Australia is 84 and you have no intention of spending the next 66 years being reminded of something you regret doing and have no intention of doing again.
Also point out it is unfair of him to be introducing actions of yours from before you met him into the life you and he now share.
Ask him if he honestly believes he cannot look past these actions ....
To be honest if he is bringing up stuff that happened before you two met I doubt he is going to be capable of letting the cheating drop. Every time you have words or disagreements he will be throwing it in your face.
Can you really envisage a future with that happening through out it?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 January 2012):
Of course he keeps bringing it up! Do you understand how much you hurt him when you cheated? You seem to think that it was all right, that it can just be swept under the carpet and that's all there is to it. I don't think you have any understanding of what you've done.
I have news for you - he has every right to bring it up. He has every right to question you, and your commitment. You lied for 2/3 months about what you'd done. You've just made up stories.
I'm sorry, but I think your best bet is to end it. You've not got a shred of time for the guy you claim to love. You've broken his heart, lied, cheated and you think this can just go away. It can't.
Please, end it, move on. Have your fun with other guys. But don't stay with this guy, unless you are willing to sit, talk and listen to his broken heart for at least another year, maybe more. If you're not willing to listen to what he says, tell the truth and accept that he will be like this for some time, then you're not girlfriend material at all at this time.
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