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male
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anonymous
writes: 4 months ago I caught my wife of 28 years, kissing and cuddling with a man she worked with.She admitted that the 'affair' had been going on for 18 months but that while he tried many times to grope her she always stopped him and that no sexual activity took place. They met on car parks 2 or 3 times per week for 15 to 30 minutes at a time- although I know that they were on their own several times for up to 2 hours. She has admitted that they both wanted sex but she felt that this was a step too far.she says she cannot explain why it happened and has not spoken or met him since the day I caught them together.I struggle to believe that after 18 months of passionate kissing and cuddling (her words)no sexual activity took place.She says it was simply an emotional affair.Am i being naive in believing her. ps the man in question is a well known local womaniser a fact my wife was aware of.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): That sucks! 18 months of an emothional affairs and still on the second base? I don't believe it, neither do anybody else. And that's why your struggling with yourself. 28 years is a long time and how could you believe her if she says this is the "first" time to have a relaxing fling like this. You're saying they were necking passionately and why not going for the rest of it before as much passionately at that moment. You're not simple at all, pal. And just let her taste a bit of her own medicine.
A
reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (6 December 2006):
 I dont think that whether any sexual activity took place even matters here. I mean honestly, does it matter when shes already been having 'emotional affairs' and 'half' physical affairs with this guy? Its not like it happened once and she decided to call it quits, in fact its been happening over and over again!!
I think you should really reconsider what sort of future you want with this woman. I would suggest walking out the door as I dont think she feels any remorse over it (having keep doing it for so long). If it happens once, its very likely to happen again. I dont think you should be questioning her anymore about whether she had sex with him or not, instead be asking yourself whether you can still put up with this nonsensce anymore, to which I suggest you dont. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Learning2Love +, writes (6 December 2006):
 Dear anon, 28 yrs is definitely worth fighting for. I think she might not be disclosing the whole truth so as not to hurt you. She did stop that affair. If it helps assume that it went further than she let on and deal with it, forgive her and move on if you can. Good luck.
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (6 December 2006):
 Hi dear,
Sorry for what happened.It is a sad situation. No i wouldnt say u are naive, u r just plain hurt and trying not to think the worst.
To be sincere 18 months is a long time to carry out an affair and not be sexually involved.But. four months later and she is with you and not with him means she doesnt regard what happened between them as meaningful and it is you she apparently desires to be with. There is still no excuse whatever for her deceit and cheating.
It is being a long time since the incident occured and i can see u are still struggling to come to terms with it and will be hard to move on from this. Just find the strength to do what u think is right and what u believe will make u happy. I do sincerely wish u the best.
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female
reader, Nikita +, writes (6 December 2006):
 Dear Anon,
I agree with Shandypop and i to find it hard to believe that she didn't go further than just kissing and cuddling. I can see why you struggle to believe her. Maybe she's trying to spare you any more pain but I would want to know the whole truth no matter how painful. It really is down to you what you want to do in this situation. If you believe that you can save the marriage and 28 years is a long time then I would suggest counselling but if you can't continue and cope with the lies and deciet then I would try and move on with your life. Whatever you decide, I wish you luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): I am so sorry to hear of this. It just turned my stomach over. I can't for one minute believe that nothing has happened. I know some people are quite happy with an emotional relationship but i think she was caught red handed and that is her way of making the situation look better, if there is a way. I'm sorry but you need to decide now what you want to do. I don't think i could go on with a life like this. She has cheated on you, so what now? where does it go from here? I wish you well.
Take care
xx
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