A
male
age
36-40,
*ngwie890
writes:Hi, this may seem like a strange question, but I really need to know the answer.I met this girl, I love her to death, but her sexual past kind of disturbs me.shes 19, started having sex at age 17, but, from age 17-18 she had 10 different sexual partners. However, she slept with 8 of the guys once each, and the other 2 a few times, a grand total of 20 times. Above that, I mean when we have sex, she feels really tight, our first time, yeah I actually couldnt go nearly all the way in due to it hurting her, but her vagina looks, kind of "loose" on the outside?is that natural for it to look that way on the outter area? is 20 times with 10 diff guys in one year alot?thanks!
View related questions:
her past, sexual past, vagina Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (7 July 2008):
 Yes, her experience is promiscuous. But she is very young and she is just at the age where young women are curious about the world and experimenting with life. The fact that she slept with 10 men at such a young age is no guide whatsoever to what she will be like as a grown woman. After that rather flashy start, she could settle down to be one of the finest women around. At least she got it out of her system, unlike many prim young women.
As for the cumulative total of 20 screws, this is pretty measly, really. And most of her partners were one-off experiences. That means that she had virtually the same experience 20 times. This is totally different from 20 experiences with one man. If you have sex with a man 20 times, there is a progressive build-up of sensual growth and emotional connections. It's like counting from 1 to 100. If you have sex with 10 men over 20 times, there is going to be virtually no progression. It's like counting from 1 to 10 ten times over.
As a man, you're programmed to be sensitive to the fact that "your girl" was freely available to so many men. All I can say is, don't think of the sex she had with them as anything terribly consequential. As I said above, it was the mechanical repetition of the same experience with very little growth. YOU are the one she's going to grow with. Ask her in a year who she wants to go to bed with, and I guarantee that none of those ten men will even raise a glimmer in her mind. It will be YOU.
As for the loose-looking pussy, I'll state it again: I've been with prostitutes who've had 1-2 thousand men over the course of several years, and they had very fine-looking pussies. The loose look is purely personal and has nothing to do with her rather meagre tally of 20 screws. I'm sure that you'll equal the tally in a matter of weeks (if not days). Screwing does not make a woman look tatty.
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (7 July 2008):
 I must say I disagree about the 'permanently' comment from the answer below this (anon). Agreed it can be very difficult to get past something like this, but it is possible. I myself have done it, and I know other men who have. But it's far from straightforward.
Or, to put it another way to not be in such disagreement with the person below: you'll never like it, and you'll always have some negative emotions towards it if you dwell on it, but you can learn to not care and to not have it bother you and effect you. Whether you want to do that or not is up to you.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2008):
Marieclaire says you're "insecure because you're inexperienced." Women like to decide what men are feeling and why we feel it, don't they? Maybe men should start deciding what type of insecurity makes women want more pairs of shoes all the time.
You'll get called insecure, but you just sound like every normal man on earth to me. Variations of this question comes up all over this website year after year.
You care because you're male and you care about her. You're programmed to be bothered by her past, especially when it seems promiscuous at all.
You'll always care. And the more you care about her, the worse this will hurt you inside. Permanently.
...............................
A
male
reader, Yos +, writes (7 July 2008):
It can make a guy feel insecure when his girlfriend has slept with plenty of other guys. Especially if he hasn't had so many sexual partners. We dont' like to admit our insecurities, so we look to find excuses elsewhere: usually blaming our girlfriend in some way or other, or pointing out some problem (like the way her vagina looks).
You need to let it go and just enjoy being with her. It sounds like you are her first serious relationship: be proud of that. You're the first guy that she really wants to be with. That counts for SO much more than a one night stand.
...............................
A
female
reader, 13AF +, writes (7 July 2008):
It's normal to be concerned about her sexual past. STDs are such a concern nowadays. Personally, I think 20 times isn't too much by any stretch but 10 partners is too many. Considering eight of them were one timers, she's still averaging almost a different partner every month. Some would be alright with that, but it's a little too polygamous for me.As for the appearance and feel of her vagina, she's perfectly normal. Some women will always feel tight and the labia of everyone is different, which is why she appears "loose". The labia are longer and looser. There is nothing unnatural about this.Hope that helps!
...............................
|
