A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Basically, I've started dating my dream girl and she's perfect. The only thing is when I met her she was going thru a more promiscuous phase even though she never used to be like that and isn't like that now. I know for a fact I'm an idiot for caring about her past and I am 100% sure I"ll get over it, because she's worth it, I just need some advice on how to get over it whether it be meditation, distractions, anything. I want a permanent fix so if it ever comes up I am indifferent to it. I know mentally that there's nothing wrong with it, it's just my heart gets in the way. I will beat these thoughts,as I'm 110% committed to it I just want some advice on how to go about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2012): hey..i can completely understand your situation.. Actually i am a girl with a similar situation.. i had a promiscuous past and i cant confess to my boyfriend..he is very loyal and i have realised how much i love him so i dont care about my past and will never ever hurt him so i think that your girl really loves you and u have to forget the past..think about the future and be happy with your girl..there is no pint in wasting your time on the past...
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (14 September 2012):
 This has some good answers for your question:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/retroactive-jealousy--how-do-i-overcome-it.html
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A
female
reader, lillady1976  +, writes (14 September 2012):
 Hey the past is called the past for a reason...it was before you. I get upset an angry when I think about all the girls that came before my man and I got back together but then I think o well he's with me. Don't dwell on what she has or hasn't done in the past think of the future.She's with you for a reason.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (14 September 2012):
 Either the girl is so good (or you want it so bad) that Guy just doesn't care what she did, or Guy never gets over it. Choose one.
I can understand why someone would have trouble with a girl's past, but your choices are realistically limited to "take it or leave it". And if you choose to take it, don't nag and don't complain twenty years from now.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2012): You are normal healthy man not an idiot.
There is no fix fir this, there is only a lifetime of dealing with the hurt.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2012): Just stop thinking about it. I honestly don't feel that it s her past that getting to you its the fact that you can't get it out of your head of other men having sex with her and it wasn't just you. Now we as women have to accept the fact that's men "sowed their oats". why is it so difficult to have the other way around? Im not saying that your that type of man, but I'm just saying how it is. When you are in a committed relationship you have to accept the good the bad and the ugly. We all have a past. She accepted yours you have to accept hers. The best way to look at it is to look at the wonderful person she is now. She loves you you love her. Isn't that all that matters? Best of luck to you
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