A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi i am new to this my self and my other half have been together for about four years we are madly in love with one another and my small girl even calls him dad, we are dur to be married in October, and it may not sound like it but i am besotted with him, even though quite recently i have been wit 2 other guys one of which was related to him by marriage, and i have another guy who is mad for me at the moment aswell. its like i am two diff people the side of me who loves being at home and settled then the side that likes to go out and have a blast i just love the attentionCan anyone help me understand why i have this need that will end up with me losing wat i have
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): I don't think your cheating has anything to do with pre wedding jutters. At all.
My opinion is you either can be a cheater or you can't. This doesn't suddenly become who you are it is who you have always allowed yourself to be. So you know your not trustrworthy and faithful, it is really why you choose to be that way that matters. Perhaps you think it is okay?
I agree with Eyes you need to do some soul searching before your marriage plans take on their own flight. But don't use the excuse of being nervous about getting hitched so that is why you can fool around with other men.
The other two guys clearly will have their opinion on your declaration of your love for your partner, they have seen how much you are loyal and love him. Start facing some home truths about yourself. What your doing is wrong, dishonest and pretty low life really and I suppose the only thing to add is that you have to live with your own mind and thoughts which is possibly better for all concerned in your life. If they knew then, yes, you would loose it all. It also sounds as if you are playing away close to home with a relative - come on - how does that work?
The amount of people who say they are madly in love with their partner/husband/wife and fiances etc, who choose to share themselves around secretly behind this persons back is staggering. No one will ever convince me that these are the actions of someone who is truly in love. And then they say they don't know how they got into this mess. Because you choose to!
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (18 March 2008):
 I'm sorry but pre-marriage jitters should only be over whether the cake will arrive on time or whether Aunt Martha will behave herself, it should never be doubts about whether you go off with another man and party. You need to do some real soul searching before October. It doesn't sound like you are all that "besotted" by your fiancee or you wouldn't give another a second thought. Be careful be very careful.
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A
female
reader, Silentwisher +, writes (18 March 2008):
 I was recently married too, in face I was only 19 when I married, before the wedding I was desperate for something new I early called the whole thing off but I soon realised that I loved him... don't worry I'm sure it's just pre-wedding jitters, don't do anything silly that might jepordise your love for one another and think of your child. If you find that you are really not happy with this man don't drag it out because it will be harder int e long run. But you ahve said that you do love him. Then respect him, tell him how you feel because he is probably feeling the same.
Getting married is a big deal and you're simply getting cold feet. but love will conqure all he he
The way to a good relationship is good communication.
I hope I have helped
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