A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I can't trust women (it's almost like a fear, I guess and yes, I am a girl). I know why, though: I was bullied when I was younger because I couldn't speak English very well, all my female "friends" have stabbed me in the back, and most of all my father's mother who mentally abused me.It's gotten so bad that I've started to question my mother's advice. It's ruining my life! How can I stop this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): Q is most definitly right. i was the woman who trusted everyone...Especially if they were religious...but not any more. I was betrayed by my best friend, demonized by an ex pastor and hit on by a former student. My mother and dads house was burned to the ground by a woman who they tried to help. Now i am wary.I am friendly and nice, but you will not get close unless you earn it. Trust is earned. What is the old saying? this is the gist of it... Take advantage of me once, and you are to blame...take advantage of me twice...and I am to blame!!!!I have lots of friends, but not many that i have shared by heart with.
But to answer the posters dilemma, i think you need to find one or two people that you can trust and just be friends with the rest on a more casual level. Its not everyone that you can trust with your heart. If your Mother has broken that trust then she will have to earn it back. If she hasnt you need to work on why you dont trust her. You should try your best to keep trust between your mother and yourself....however it is not every mother that can be trusted. Trust me on this one. mal
A
male
reader, duce00 +, writes (24 November 2009):
 Well...I think your age and background are setting this off. I have trust issues with women too but we are in different arenas. Young women are especially cruel in my experience and they either wise up or become more coy. Another thing you can do is stick around here for a while. Make some friends here, they have helped me immensely and I pay forward when ever possible. You will see after a while that a few folks here do not candy coat theyre advice and they don't put on airs. I bring before you the illustrious Ql605. A true master of blunt no BS advice. Let me tell you he is an idiot like Bill Gates is a an inexperienced computer newbie. Too stiff a drink for some but never watered down and you will find that a very rare thing here.I will come right out and flatly disagree with Flynn 24. More on the jumbled arrangement of talking points and the simple fact that he is obviously not experienced enough here to be taking pot shots at anybody. He might have confused Mr Q's approach but I do not think the OP was quite that naive. No harm done I am sure. So as you can see you have too weed through some BS sometimes. That is a lesson in itself isn't it? Be brave enough to trust your own judgment and instincts about ALL people including your family. Stick around here for a while and make friends with some of our wonderful agony aunts. Feel free to PM me and I will connect you with them. You CAN trust these women, I promise.Duce00
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A
female
reader, TheSoulAsylum  +, writes (23 November 2009):
 You can't put the same shoe on every foot. Just because some women in your life have been awful doesn't mean all women are (I may be biased, though, but personally I'm awesome...just joking :D) Why don't you try and meet some new people, not even just women, just friends in general, and things might start getting better. I was raped and beaten by my father for years when I was younger, but I don't hate men for it. They weren't the ones that did it to me. I'm not saying you need to give women complete trust, because that'd be stupid, but just going out and seeing a movie with a group of friends with a couple of girls might be easier. You don't have to talk through a movie, but you might loosen up around them. Not everybody is the same in the world. There are some cruel people out there, but if everyone was the same the human race would have died out from idiocy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009): You can't just go around judging an entire sex because of some bad experiences with a realtive few.Get new friends, and choose more wisely this time. Forgive the abusive granny and then never ever speak to her again. And then repeat over and over agin until you believe it, that not everyone in this world is a back-stabbing, abusive douche-nozzle.I'm pretty sure q1605 is either joking or an idiot. Because he couldn't be more wrong. Trust is indeed something that should be treated with caution, but to mis-trust everyone on the actions of a few... is just plain stupid.How are you supposed to find someone you can trust if you don't trust ANYONE?And family is NOT over-rated. The only people who say this a miserable. Families are not always gonna be happy. But it is vital, if you have a family, to know that at least some of them will be there when you fall. Even if a few of them a idiots.Flynn 24
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009): accept the truth. Blaming all women for what a few bad ones have done to you is crazy. Sadly there are plenty of rottern people in the world, the trick is not to acknowledge them.
Im sorry that you have had lousy friends, but there always time to make new ones ok. Good friends are more valuable than anything else. So ditch the bad ones and meet better ones.
As for your granny, dont worry bout her. Just smile and nod and then walk away from her. Theres no rule that says you have to listen to her.
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