A
female
age
30-35,
*uicebox2012
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for about two years now but I am so mentally drained is my boyfriend a narsassistic psychological abuser and doesn't really love me? Or am I just over thinking our relationship and what has happened? Hear is alittle bit of my story.. When we started dating I thought he was the most amazing person I had ever met I was so head over heals for him I thought we had a future I gave him everything I had and bent over backwards for him and did everything to make him happy. I slowly started to see things change when the lies started unraveling and as time went on I started to notice it all. He lies to me about everything that comes out of his mouth he does whatever he wants we have lived together since we started dating and I have spent most our relationship alone during the day and even night he controls everything and if I do something wrong or say something wrong he gets so mad at me and puts me so far down I'm scared to do it again and scared to make him mad. Nothin he says ever adds up and his stories always change. He makes me feel like I'm nothin. He has left for days doing hisOwn thing will ignore my texts when he isn't home will lie about what he is doing and who he is with, but if I was to leave the house I would have to come home when he says and if I don't text back right away he will flip and start accusing. He has said the meanest things to me has made me cry infront of people then laugh at me, but if I say something wrong infront of people I would hear about later.. I do everything he asks or he will get pissed.. If I even look at the opposite sex he will get pissed but I have caught him texting many girls flirting with them most serious one was his ex he would text her he loves and misses her how she was the only one who could change him talk about there old memories and talk shit about me and ask to hangout that I no of they did meet up once and the most fucked up part about it was I was outside in his truck he made me stay in there while he went to the garage to see her. May I remind you that the truck was parked right behind garage her friend picked her up out back that's how I caught him but when I asked him he still denied it and later I seen a text saying " I don't care about the consequences I really want to see you". He has also met a 2 girls outside at 3 in the morning while I was inside sleeping but what he didn't know was I heard him and went to window to listen and watch and he was talking shit about me and they were all laughing and joking about me. But he claims he never has cheated and never would. Even after all I know but I still wonder what I don't.. He has put me down in ever way. He always lies about money and how much he has and where he got it.. Has bought me me hardly any gifts and spends hardly any money on me.. But if I have money I have to share it like its both of ours if I had a dollar to my name he would take it. We never do anything that couples should do if we hang out its doing what he wants which is scrapping and working on stuff up on his hill,. I sit alone occuppying myself. All his friends hate me when I'm around there all secretive and code words and watch what they say I always feel so unwanted and just a joke.. Seems like he never talks good about me... I feel like a puppet drug around. I ended up getting pregnant he did the same stuff while I was pregnant hardly supportive has bought our son one outfit (7$) that's it sense I found out i was pregnant wasn't around to help get ready or do his room... Our son is 3 months now I sit home almost daily and take care of him by myself he hardly ever helps. IAlways need one of our family members come there so I can shower he could even be here and I would need someone here to watch him so I can go to store.. I have no life thanks to him it feels like I feel like I'm in prison living in constant worry of what he is doing I'm so broken I feel sick and aching all the time. Lies are revealed daily about anything possible. I can't trust a single word he says ever time he opens his mouth my thoughts are lie lie lie.. I feel I'm going crazy there is nothin left of me but he sees right through my thoughts and tears and continues on with his day or acts like nothin is wrong he never listens... Seems he can control and say and do whatever but if I step out of line I will hear about it.. I could honestly go on our relationship haunts me and I seem to remember litterally everything including the person I thought he was.. I'm stuck I need major advice. There has been good in the relationship and he has said and done nice things but I don't know weather to think it was an act and a lie or what.. He claims he cares and he loves me. I've also heard I'll change and it won't happen again and right after its said and done it continues.. I've never felt so alone and hurt but still cling on to a little hope that it will change and who I feel in love with is in there somewhere... I apologize for this being so long I tried to sum it up but still explain enough but quite frankly what I had told you isn't even half of it.... I don't know who I am anymore besides a walking disaster that's lost all peace of mind... Thanks for listening..
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male
reader, Mr. Y  +, writes (18 May 2012):
You are not in an equally powerful position with your husband.There are financial problems too.He is a capricorn right ? It is very difficult to correct these people.Actually the only way to correct them is to make him realize your importance by walking away from the relationship.He will first make more girlfriends.But gradually if u keep calling him, he will start missing you and he will understand your importance.Once he is reduced into tears by missing you , he will definitely understand.But I think its difficult to walk out of a relationship in your case. You have to find some other way.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (18 May 2012):
 So he's a liar, and you spent how much time writing how many words to tell us about it/him? "Sounds" to me like you'll be much happier after you dump him.....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 May 2012):
 The guy is bad, but YOU are being your own worst enemy.
Come on, this is simple ...
... So, you found out that your BF is a pathological liar, you don't trust him at all ( because he proved you that you can't trust him ) he would not tell you the truth even if you'd just ask him the time of the day.
But : if he says he loves you and cares about you and he will change, ah then it's different. Then you feel that he is telling the truth and that you can trust what he says.
WHY ? Chances are he is bullshitting you as he is about everything else.
He is making you miserable, but he is not the one who is keeping you prisoner, you are. If just the half of what you said is recurrently going on, and you are still there taking abuse,-well, as uncompassionate as it sounds, but, only yourself to blame.
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