A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How does anyone trust anyone? How can you believe what anyone says without having proof? How the hell do I know that my husband isn't talking bad and acting bad behind my back if i never have proof that he isnt?? It's not just faith.. you can't just have faith or trust without knowing that you actually can... its insane.. I can't trust a single freaking person on the face of the earth not even my husband. Hes lied to me a lot and he had this horrible friend who liked me and tried to break us up before we were married.. well, even after we were married.. and he would tell me horrible lies about my husband but some things he said were true that he thought were horrible but weren't so horrible to me.. How do i know which ones were lies and therefore what my hub is lying about? How am I supposed to believe what he says ever? How am I supposed to believe that he is the kind of person he says he is and acts like he is... its not possible.. I'm miserable like this.. I'm not happy and I feel that as long as I can't believe anything that a single person says ever.. I never will be happy.. life is stupid.. you spend all your time trying to make friends and find love and get along with your family, you go to school, then you work forever and what the hell is it for? we die.. we rot in the ground anyway right.... how do you people do it.. how do you people stay happy and have relationships and... I dont get it. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bisi yusuf  +, writes (4 October 2010):
you just have to try your best to know why he have to lie, when you know you cannot trust him you should not have married him in the first place. do not be bothered with whatever he is saying as long as ur kid is there to always make you happy,not all people are lair, you have to work cos if you dnt God will ask why you did not make use of ur talent, you have to change the way you think and stop keeping what people did to you in your mind rather voice it out,if a person should lie to you tell them immediately for the person to know his or her lies.
A
female
reader, bisi yusuf +, writes (2 October 2010):
you just have to try your best to know why he have to lie, when you know you cannot trust him you should not have married him in the first place. do not be bothered with whatever he is saying as long as ur kid is there to always make you happy,not all people are lair, you have to work cos if you dnt God will ask why you did not make use of ur talent, you have to change the way you think and stop keeping what people did to you in your mind rather voice it out,if a person should lie to you tell them immediately for the person to know his or her lies.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPeople make mistakes. People lie because they're afraid. I've forgiven him for his lies, i'm just always afraid there are more I haven't found out yet. His lies were.. important to him but silly to most others. And if he had told me the truth up front, nothing in our relationship would be any different. I probably still wouldn't trust him because I guess I just have trust issues. I don't trust anyone at all. And he's worth so much more than his few mistakes. He has a million amazing qualities that I wouldn't want to lose and I wouldn't find in another human being. Marriage is work and I won't give up over something like that. I believe I'd be searching for years anyway before I found anyone who wouldn't lie, because that's what people do.
Electricsheep, I'm glad that you've found some peace and invisibility in what people say to you. I'd rather be punched in the face then hurt by a lie though.. sounds crazy? I dunno.. I'm tired of emotional pain.
Yeseterday I had a break down.. I was feeling like there was no point at all to life and I just wanted to end it, then in about the snap of a finger, I was fine again. I looked at things like I usually do, that i'm not happy right now but I'd rather live until I can be... So that told me maybe i'm bipolar? It runs in the family, but I never want to feel like that again. I came so close to letting go.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010): Once a liar always a liar.
Unfortunately, it's simple as that.
It may seem overwhelming now, but maybe the best thing you can do is start fresh. There are people out there who don't lie and connive, and if you're not available, you won't be able to let them into your life.
I don't envy you, as you have some hard choices ahead. I wish you the best of luck!
Remember - you deserve better!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (28 March 2010):
 Happiness is a state of mind. You can either be happy or sad and it is your choice.
Some people do not have much possessions in life and yet are happy while others who have everything are unhappy and discontented.
Life has a meaning and purpose. When you do not know your purpose, then life has no meaning.Eat sleep and exhale and die eventually.
No humans can be trusted but only God.
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A
female
reader, lavalass  +, writes (27 March 2010):
 i dont think trust is your problem,it's fear,fear of living,fear of dieing,your afraid to live life to the fullest as much as you can.you dont trust your husband,so you dont trust any one else.you were probably hurt before,alot???? but lemme tell you ths,if you continue not trusting and not living,eventually you're gonna realize tht all your time had pass you by and you'll be sorry..all these things you're wondering about,about how we,as ppl,how we do it,it's called living and life,and we all must do it..you gotta start loving yuhself and know tht your special,you gotta find yuhself,trust yuhself,thn you'll trust ppl,and who knows you might meet someone down the line who'll teach/show you how to trust,how to love,how to live...your life is worth more thn you know,it is not worthless..trust me...
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A
female
reader, ElectricSheep +, writes (27 March 2010):
 I understand how you feel. I also feel like I can't trust anyone. I can't believe what people say, or trust in what they do because I think they are doing the opposite behind my back. I don't want to be the fool, that's why I can't trust anyone; I have to be on guard at all times just in case they are lying and making fun of me.
I'm still not at the point of trusting people fully, so I don't know if I can add anything helpful (sorry), but I once realized how easy life was once I just let go of my doubts and took what people said to me at face value. People don't always have ulterior motives, and if they *are* lying, then it's just a lie ("...but words will never hurt me").
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A
male
reader, TORRES  +, writes (27 March 2010):
You sound like you're in a very painful place, trust is a diffcult thing to have, but if you expect people to lie to you and not be trustworthy then you will attract those sort of people in to your life. It is impossible to trust everyody and you have to start with small things and build up, but not having faith in anyone will lead you to a very lonely excistence.
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