A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Lately, I've been confused by the attention of a personal trainer at my gym. I signed up for him, and we got along great, and he even came to one of my family's get togethers. There's always been a bit of flirting, from him. I play stupid because I don't want to seem like I'm into him. After several weeks, he finally mentioned his wife. But when I went out of town, and complained about men behaving badly when I got back, he said I should have taken him with me, and he wasn't kidding.Now that I've completed training, he's called me and asked me to keep in touch to tell him about everything. I thought he just meant my fitness goals, but he said, anything. And so, he calls. He asks what I am up to and seems interested in the answers. He's on his second marriage, and is not creepy, is unbelievably good looking and respectful to me. I can't tell if he's just being nice, or if he's flirting and I can't tell. He hasn't said anything dirty, he just seems to want to be in my life, which is okay, I just don't know what it means. Any clues?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): Maybe he isn't being direct because he is in a business situation, and it would not be viewed positively by his superiors. He is a loser, and your actions are to be admired.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all for the thoughtful feedback. At least no one said: "Sounds like he just wants to be friends." I've gotten some information lately that indicates that he might be separated. I know that he married the latest wife because she was pregnant. The youngest kid is older than the marriage. Not that such excuses him. And I don't want to ask him because it's not like me to care about stuff like that. Also, I don't judge him harshly for having been married twice--most of my siblings have been, as were my parents before they met each other. But yes, I know, married men--bad. I just don't want to be clueless about when a man is flirting. I'm used to guys who just come out and say things. So, I'm keeping my side of the texts/conversations boring--fitness, family, and so forth, because he is nice, I just don't think he wants to be alone when/if his marriage dissolves, and that's something he'll have to learn to deal with.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2009): RUN FAST WHILE YOU ARE STILL ABLE. He is a jerk and not faithful to his wife. He wouldn't be to you either. I have seen too many of my friends sit around waiting on married men, including my ex's girlfriend.
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A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (8 September 2009):
 This man is MARRIED. MARRIED. MARRIED. Are you sure you want to end up this man's third wife? Think about it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 September 2009):
 I would forget about him. He isn't available for anything really, he "might" be able to be a friend, but I'm not sure if that is what he is looking for.. Sounds to me that you are better off not talking to him.
He is married. Some people conveniently "forget" that when they have fun flirting with others. All I can see coming of this if you continue to talk/see him is drama..
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A
male
reader, bouncer  +, writes (8 September 2009):
This man is a dirty RAT stay away from him. There is no doubt that this man wants to have sex with you. Any man that is willing to cheat on his wife is no good. He will use you and dump you like a hot cake so please dont be selfish and think of his innocent wife.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2009): It sounds like he does really like you. But a man on his second marriage hitting on you is trouble anyway you look at it. Is he going to cheat on his wife with you? does that mean he would cheat on you? if he ending up getting a divorce to be with you is there anything saying he isn't going to do the same to you?
He just sounds like bad news to me
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