A
female
age
36-40,
*ilverSong86
writes:I posted here a few months back about my last relationship. Just to clarify for those who read that post,this question is about a new guy. So I started dating this guy after a painful relationship with my ex about a month and a half ago (I'm over the ex, but he did leave some scars). We had an amazing start, but I'm starting to have doubts. There are so many things that I really really like about him, but we seem to be opposites and to handle things in completely incompatible ways. My trouble is that I can't decide if this relationship is good for me (as in it's helping me to release a lot of my old pain, and deal with issues better) or if it's just going to hurt me worse. One of my main problems is that he tells me every single time he's unhappy with something. I understand that he's doing it because he doesn't want things to build up, he cares for me, and he wants us to work,etc but to me it just feels like he's attacking me (a lot of the things he doesn't like are personality traits of mine, and I'm not going to change for him. I just don't want to feel bad about myself because he doesn't like things). For example tonight we had a fight because I was in a bad mood because I got rearended earlier. I told him this was the cause of my mood, but he kept asking me for some deeper cause and when I told him there wasn't one he yelled at me for not talking to him enough... Also, I asked him not to touch me (I really hate to be touched when I'm in certain moods) and he got very offended and then basically said, "tough, I'm going to anyway." We talked it all out and he said he'd be more respectful and I agreed to reassure him that I care about him, etc. The problem is that I feel that this is going to keep happening and emotionally I can't take it. I really like this guy, but I wish this didn't hurt so much. I really can't tell if this is a good release (since I've tended to be passive aggressive in the past) or if it's just going to add more scars to the ones I have already. I just want your take on the situation. Thank you guys! You are much appreciated even for reading this!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (15 October 2007):
Don't touch you? I say dump you. Your love requirements are too complex for the simple mind of man.
A
male
reader, Trax +, writes (15 October 2007):
 well it seems you just need to talk to him about how what he is doing is making you feel. As for the when you don't want to be touched if he keeps doing it, physically distance yourself from him until you feel you can be touched again, he won't always get it so you just need to keep telling him how you are feeling.
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