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I cant tell him why we cant have anal.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 July 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 19 July 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *nlovewithhim1224 writes:

so my boyfriend wants me to have anal sex with him but i just keep saying no i don't to and not telling him the real reason.

The real reason is because since I was little I have had IBS (Irritable bowel syndrome) (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/irritable-bowel-syndrome/DS00106 for more info on it.)

With this IBS I am constipated all the time. Therefore I fear that this will make it worse or that my boyfriend will get an embarrassing surprise when he is done. We've been dating for almost 7 months now and I have never told him about my IBS simply because it's embarrassing. I have to hide all the symptoms from him all the time and always have to make up excuses for why I have to go the bathroom all the time. I'm working on correcting the IBS but it takes time and a lot of work.

I don't know what to do.

Do I tell him and hopefully he understands or do I just wait it out untill the problem is gone.

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A male reader, Red Green 0289 United States +, writes (19 July 2009):

Tell him - if he's a good guy, he'll care. We all want our GF's to be healthy and happy. If you have a condition, he needs to know about it, so that he can be part of the solution and not part of the problem.

I totally understand why you wouldn't throw this out on the first date, and how over time it's weird that you haven't told him. tell him now... odds are he'll get it 100% and you can get this secret out from between the two of you...

Good luck!

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A female reader, Jayney Y Australia +, writes (11 July 2009):

Jayney Y agony auntBottom's are meant for one thing, and anal sex isn't it. Maybe you should ask him why it's so important for him to be a turd burglar instead of worrying about what he will think of you for having a common problem.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009):

Eventually this issue will have to be addressed, whether you address the issue, or he does. I'm betting he will understand.

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A female reader, QuirkLady United States +, writes (11 July 2009):

QuirkLady agony auntTell him. He might surprise you with how well he accepts it. You'll never know unless you try.

Good luck.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009):

if he really cares about you then he will understand because sooner or you will slip up because right NOW he probaly knows to some extent

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