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anonymous
writes: I'm not sure whats ahppening to me. I've always been a happy person, good student and had heaps of friends. I used to spend more time helping others then consoling myself (because I didn't need to)I cant take naything anymore. My school work is slipping in homework because I just can't work at home. Somethimes I get so worried about how fat I am and that no one fancies me that I can't go outside. My dad and my sister are the main source of the problem.My older sister is gorgeous and conceited. She tkes every opputunity to tease me and she just gets away with it. My mum will do anything for a peaceful life. She'll console me when I'm on my own and bitch about my sister and my dad, but she NEVER sticks up for me in front of them.I can't talk to her because she makes it out to be her problem: "you have no idea what I go through. Your dad's just as mean to me". I can't take it anymore.I used to make myself sick to try and calm myself down but my jaw locked an it scared the hell out of me. Now when iI get stressed I sit in my room, put on some really loud music and scratch the hell out of myself. It doesn't even hurt anymoreI can't go on like this. But my parents just aren't proud of me and I don't know what to do with myself ...please someone help me Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kelly-louise +, writes (7 November 2005):
I know exactly where you are coming from hun, my dad used to be the same, except i am the oldest of 3, i could never talk to my mum about anything she was more interested on my sister and brother, i was always coming home from school with straight A's and yet i was thick and dumb.It took my parents 3 years to realise that there was something wrong when i ended up in hospital 3 times all three i tried to kill my self. thats when i thought enough is enough and decided to concentrate on ME!! i would go to after school classes and i even started to write all my feelings down on paper then read through wat i had written before i tore it up.
i also went to the family doctor and asked for help, he stood by me all the way and admitted me to a counclor and phyciatrist. that helped my stand back on my own 2 feet.
my advice 2 u is look after yourself and find a hobby to take your mind off of things
GOOD LUCK HUN!!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2005): It sounds like you need to look for a helping hand outside of your family. If there's anyone at school who you're really close to, talk to them, spend more time at their place if possible and do your homwork there or at a library. Every family has there problems and if no one's listening I reckon it's time you take action rather than let them effect you mentally as well as physically.
What's the story with scratching yourself? It sounds like a mild form of self-harm and it would be best to stop immediately. You need to find yourself a way to vent your emotions in a productive fashion. You could start a new sport, join some club in school or even just start a diary. This way you can say whatever you want about your life and then look at it perspectively. It doesn't matter what you say because it's all secret- it can be a very effective method to relieve pressure.
To me, it sounds like your mam has given up. This may sound backwards but I think you should set an example for her. Don't take any abuse from your sister or dad. Let any cruel comments slide off your back, smile and reply with an offhand 'whatever' or point out their own faults. If they see you're actually much stronger than them, they won't know what to do. Bullies should never be left to their own devices.
It sounds like your sister is jealous and tries to put you down just so she's 'daddy's girl'. The oldest people in the family are often burdened with the greatest pressure to make their parents proud. Maybe if you try and have a lengthy discussion with her (no matter how conceited she is) she'll see things from your point of view and you can become allies rather than enemies.
Good luck!
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female
reader, wishes +, writes (1 November 2005):
 Sorry, to continue, if you go to http://www.kidshelp.com.au The Kids helpline also have web chatting/counselling, or email counselling. Check it out.
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female
reader, wishes +, writes (1 November 2005):
You have very low self esteem which is getting worse over time. You cant talk to your family about it but it is essential you talk to someone. Most suburbs, or at least hopefully a suburb near you, have community health- or youth centres. They can help you with self esteem classes, and counselling. It might not be a good idea that you tell your family that you are going, as they might put you off the idea. I really do think it is a good idea that you contact one of these centres and maybe make an appoinment after school or something. Next time you are feeling angry, instead of scratching yourself, try going for a run, or punching a pillow, maybe even screaming into a pillow? Phyiscal exercise is good for taking out stress- and much much better than hurting yourself. If you dont feel comfortable going to see someone, there is also "Kids Helpline". The number is 1800 55 1800. This is a 24 hour helpline open to 5 to 18 year olds. It is free, so you can call from a pay phone or home phone. (It might not be free from your mobile). You can talk to them about anything, and they might be able to give you some ideas on how to handle what you are going through. Try to stay positive. Best wishes x
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female
reader, kym +, writes (1 November 2005):
its really sad to hear your story but i know how you feel im the same (except the hurting my self bit) i think you need professional help....its obviously getting to much for you.Also i know self harming makes you feel better and gets the pain out but i believe there are different ways to deal with it. your family are dissapointing and your school work is vital i know because im 16 and went through so much hassle when i was just about to do my G.C.S.E's, its not easy. maybe talking to your friends would help or seeing a school councilor. you may think they wont work but you might be suprised (i was......because of them i didnt get to the stage of self harm) all the best chick x
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2005): I really feel you need to go see your doctor and tell him everything you have put here..maybe you need to talk to someone that is outside of your family problems..if so your doctor will get you in touch with someone..i also feel you should talk to your teacher and explain whats going on so they understand why your school work is slipping..most schools offer a councilling service that maybe your teacher can sort out for you.
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female
reader, beth05 +, writes (1 November 2005):
Oh my goodness, when i read your letter i just had to reply to you. stop the self harming now it is not doing you any good. I understand how you feel, i have felt like that before. This is when you need to open your eyes and see the world for what it is. Parents are not always there for their children and it is a shame but do not think that it is up to the children to take on the stress of them too. When you play louod music, i suggest you sing your heart out with them and dance and jump and release teh frustration that is building up inside of you. you have to stop the school work slipping. This is your ticket out of the family home and to somewhere you feel safe and calm. If your having problems with your weight, do something pro active. go for a run half an hour before school in the morning and again when you come home. You are old enough now to decide what food you eat so you can change your diet. take pride in yourself and your confidence will soon return. just take one day at a time. In regards to the problem with your dad and sister, let them know how you feel in a calm, mature manner and if they respond negatively to you, just work harder at your education becasue that is your ticket out of there. This is the time to concentrate on number 1, YOU!
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