A
male
age
26-29,
*herno
writes:Hey there! I am a 16 year old guy, and I have loads to tell you guys. Ok, so this is about girls! From preschool up until about grade 6, I have never been afraid of girls..As soon as I entered grade 7 up until grade 10...disaster. I have never had a girlfriend in my life before and I am 16. I am very concerned with my future because its not normal. The reason being is that I have a nervous anxiety. I am talking about being shy and vain about myself. I am soo shy to talk to girls, especially white girls who are my type and usually cute and hot ones are the ones who are extremely difficult to talk to. They always seem to intimidate me, eber since grade 7! Sometimes, when girls look at me, I feel anxiety in myself, because I know that they may be judging me when they look at me and of course, I am cautious about the way I look and very vain. Now, by vain I mean I am careful towards my appearance, I am ashamed of myself when girls see me because knowing that hot ones are looking at me just to see what I look like, it affects me. Man...when I am around girls, I sweat, seriously I sweat like hell and I am breathing heavily inside, knowing that if I make one little flaw, they can criticize me or judge me. This has been a significant problem for me for a good 3 years or so. For some reason, I just treat girls like other creatures, I see them as non- human beings, simply because the ones I have crushes on are the ones who I can't go up to talk to, not even say hi. What can you expect??? They can say anything and there you go, at that moment you notice that they may be laughing at you. Honestly, I need help badly before its too late. I wanna have my first date and girlfriend, but I just can't talk to girls because I am intimidated, shy, and vain. I get anxiety and I also sweat internally, I get the jitters, and I feel like my blood is flowing rapidly as soon as a girl makes eye contact with me. I really like this girl name Emma, she's blonde and 2 inches taller than me, I am scared of talking to her because I don't think Im her type of guy. Hence, I have never spoken to her throughout the whole year and we are in April, not even said hi...:( Please help me people, help me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (9 April 2011):
Hi there. You are feeling probably the same way as most young men your age.
It's just shyness, that's all.
It usually happens at about puberty or just after, and it's perfectly normal.
To relax yourself, you need to take some long, slow deep breaths to calm yourself down. It helps a lot.
When you hear girls talking near to you and then laughing, they are probably not laughing at you at all, but more likely to be laughing about something funny someone said. No, not funny about you, but life, anything at all really.
You are just feeling self-conscious because you are starting to grow up and becoming aware of how you look to others.
As long as you are clean and tidy, there is nothing more you can do. Be pleased with who you are, you are already perfect.
The worst thing you can possibly do in life, is to compare yourself with others. We are all different and unique.
You are perfectly normal in how you look and who you are.
You just need to gain some self-confidence and it is a part of growing up - for all of us.
The way to gain confidence in yourself, is to start believing in yourself and that you are a worthy human being.
No-one in this world is better than anyone else. We are all equal.
Know that and believe it, because it's true.
Just treat all girls you talk to as friends, even if some of them you are attracted to. They are all human beings, just like you. Treat them all the same - with respect and dignity - and don't try to pretend to be anyone you are not. Just be yourself. Always be true to yourself.
Good luck and best wishes.
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