A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do I convince this guy, who has been with a ton of girls, think that i'm good sexually? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks you guys!! See he has told me he wants me to be his gf. that he doesnt want me to be another girl and he wants to wait to have sex until he loves me. on the flip side of the love thing...he is also going by months. I posted this question without planning on hooking up with him anytimes soon even if we do become an item. i want to take things slow and he knows this and respects it. im just one of those people who keep it in the back of my mind and worrying about it wayyyy before it will even happen. thanks for all your advice!
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (10 April 2011):
 Amen to Abella. Wait for awhile before making your way into bed. Then your confidence will not be an act. What until you know he really loves you and you have a solid relationship and you'll be comfortable enough to just let it happen. There won't be room for comparison - you will only be thinking about each other. If he really cares about you and is serious about being in a relationship - he'll be fine with waiting a bit and letting a foundation build first. All women are different. The "best" ones in bed are not thinking about all the other women, they are thinking about themselves! They are in the moment, enthusiastic, enjoying themselves and lavishing in the pleasure. Don't make it all about him, also make sure you're enjoying yourself too! Confidence in the bedroom comes when you can completely relax. Make sure you're protected - you won't really be able to relax unless you know that's taken care of. Take care of yourself and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (10 April 2011):
 hi, thank you for the update. So are you assuming this will become a sexual relationship soon after you two do become an item as a couple?There is no need for it to become sexual soon after you two become an item.To determine if the two of you really do have a connection then first it would be important to see how well he can sustaina relationship as a loyal sole girlfriend/boyfriend relationship where you arefaithful to each other where, sex is not used as the main communication device in the relationship. Ask him to consider being boyfriend and girlfriend where you get to know each other, get to communicate, do things together in the first three months where there is NO sex. I notice you are over 18 so you are mature enough to know that sex can wait.He may not be very good at sustaining a loyal committed relationship with a girl if there is no sex for him. This may be a first for him. And it may unsettle him. But if he is genuine about you he should be man enough to try it.And when or IF you do have sex, take it very slowly. You only have to please and satisfy him. So ask him to teach you all the things that he thinks are the best ways to do things to satisfy him. Believe me if he is any good (just having a ton of girls does prove he is good in bed) then he will love teaching you.Also check out the articles on sex by the Uncle called anonymousmale or or a name like that. He is listed as about the first one (at the botton) of my list of friends and his articles re sex are brilliant.Keep it calm with this new guy and be yourself and delay sex for three months and you WILL be utterly unique and special and so much better than all the other girls he's been with to date.Also read the Kama Sutra - it may not make sense until you have read it many times, but it is good and has stood the test of times.Also go on Ebay and see if you can locate an old copy of 'the joy of sex' as it might helpBut most of all be yourself.Best wishes, Abella
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk let me explain the situation a bit better. There is this guy ive known for about two years. he has always been the hook up type (have sex with girls rather then get into a relationship) over the last year he has slowly stopped doing he old bad habits and decided he wants a girlfriend. (big step for him). for a few months know he has liked me. i made it clear im not the hook up type and want a relationship. he has told me thats fine. he doesnt want to do anything until im ready and he wants me to be his girlfriend. i am definitly not doing anything until we are together. so my question is he has been with tons of girls and therefore has a ton of people to compare me to. he says he wouldnt compare..but im still nervous. i can act all confident but any advice on how to b better?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question...ok so my original question was how do i get this guy, who has been with a ton girls, to think im good sexually. now ill explain the situation a
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (9 April 2011):
I have the exact same question. He's a player, why do you need to prove how good you are sexually? Do you think that's all he sees you as (a bedmate) and if he thinks you're great in the sack, then he'll like you or spend time with you?
You should show him that you're happy with being you and that you're not just a sex object. You are worth the time and the loyalty of a committed fella. And that you aren't going to be with a guy who will treat you like another notch on his bedpost.
You shouldn't have to talk a guy into sleeping with you. Is he that much better than you, that you have to prove yourself? You shouldn't be convincing someone as to why you're worth f*cking. Maybe he should be proving to you that he's not a dirtbag and that he really loves YOU and sees you as more than just a lay. You are so much more than a sex doll, so don't treat yourself like one!! Good luck, sweet!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): Why do you need to convince him of that?If you haven't slept with him yet and he is interested in you, then you shouldn't need to convince him of anything one way or the other. If he's not eager to sleep with you and you're trying to lure him in with the idea of great sex, then at best you're just gonna get used and never get a relationship out of it.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (9 April 2011):
Not that should need to convince any guy that you are good sexually in order to interest him. The real question is, are his list of qualities sufficent for him to interest you, and why? And are his list of short comings enough to become deal breakers for you, down the track? For instance if he's had 'a ton of girls' does that imply that he's a player? Why bother to interest a player? It's heart breaker highway.
And if he's a player then all a player requires is an available girl. Once he has partaken, then he moves on. Have a think about the qualities and character of a guy that really matter like reliable, respectful etc.
don't sell yourself short to a guy who may be a shallow player.
And always be yourself. That will result in losing some guys. But at least you will attract guys who really like you, for who you are.
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