A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have two boys in a relationship before this one. When I met my current boyfriend he was so nice to them and had a great job, and for once I felt like I didn't have to be in charge of EVERYTHING. Now, two years later we have a daughter together, and he is completely different. Anytime something doesn't go right and he gets into trouble, which is a lot, I get blamed and his anger is directed at me! I have wanted to leave but he threatens me with taking everything or much worse things trust me. The world seems to revolve around him, and I can't even talk to him anymore because nothing I say is important to him. It's always poor me this poor me that, I have such horrible luck, blah blah blah!! He can't even keep or get a job anymore!! I can't take it anymore but dont know how to leave! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, cjk2317 +, writes (30 September 2010):
You need to get out with your children before this man becomes violent. I have witnessed first hand how terrible life can become with a man like this. My best friend had been being abused by her husband for ten years before she left him. He started out small with verbal abuse and the violence eventually progressed into severe beatings. Her children also had to witness this domestic violence. I cannot tell you the agony my friend suffered, but I will warn you once more to get out before it gets too bad.
A
female
reader, Fincathous +, writes (13 March 2010):
 you have two choices tell him to leave since he doesn't even have a job or you can take you kids and leave. whatever you choose you need to create a safe secure home for all of your children and they don't need to see their mom being treated like a dog. i know it is hard to change what is wrong as it always seems easier to stay where it is comfortable. believe me from experience when you get out of this relationship you will feel like a ton of bricks has been lifted. and as far as actually leaving be it him or you, you must be strong in your decision and no going back.
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A
male
reader, freddyfred +, writes (12 March 2010):
 im kinda in the same place me and my ex untill one day i just said i need a divorce and walked out of the house never looked back untill a 2 weeks ago she trying to come back in my life just say it to your self and move on their is nothing he can do or say that will make u any better once an apple goes bad it wont get any fresher just do it and leave 3 years went by and nothing changed good luck to you and write bak if u wanna talk or a friend
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A
female
reader, asian tealeaf  +, writes (12 March 2010):
 the problem is, its not that u do not know how to leave more than the fact you have a son together and this is the anchor. if you two had not had a child together, then it would not be as hard, although breaking emotional ties in general is difficult. so, you need to get all your ducks in a row, get consultation from a lawyer, if you cant afford one usually u can find one that will either do a pro bono or, a sliding scale thats budgeted to your income. anyways, find out what your rights, and his are. find out the legalities involved then from there u can make a informed decision as to what you want to do and how u want to go about it. u dont obviously want to prevent him from seeing thew child, so if your up to doing joint custody, then do it. either way, settle the child custody issue, and everything else will become a breeze for you. nobody wants to break upm a family, and maybe you may not do this permanently. perhaps for a while this might be the best thing. give it a few yrs see where you are at, where hes at, if hes made any progress etc, and maybe by then you both might be a little more mature and decide to give it another shot. hes obviously very stressed out, and cant handle the responsibilities of being a parenthood. and thats ok. he cant handle a little maturity? thats ok too. but you dont have to take the brunt of his wishy washiness.dont belittle him. just be honest and tell him you feel you both need to go seperate ways, until things get better. he needs to delve into himself and find out what his real problems are. but assure him, unless hes totally uninterested in being a dad to his child, that you will not prevent him from being a dad to his child. and that you both will play a role int he childs life. if hes not interested, dont cry a tear. hes a loser. there are many good guys out there, who will love to try to be a decent father to your son. no strings attached. and thats a fact too. good luck.
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