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male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Ive been working in my new place for about 18 months now. My department is great and we all seem to get on. Im happily married and there is a younger girl in our department and things have gone where they shouldnt have. I like her and get on with her but i love my wife but i cant stop flirting with her or resisting things. What do i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): My husband just cant seem to stop flirting with women. I discovered sms messages on his phone 3 years ago, I have seen email messages to some of these workmates and it is just crazy. I have lost the trust that I had in him and am staying in the marriage for the children. I have such feelings of loneliness on the inside. This flirtation with other women has stolen our happiness and I truly wonder if we can ever regain it.
A
female
reader, 007doll  +, writes (2 August 2010):
The disregard that you show for your wife will change her forever. if its a different sort of woman that you seek- go ! home ! and watch one did inside bfore she leaves you.
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A
female
reader, Amanda19  +, writes (29 July 2008):
I'm on the receiving end of this - Been with my husband for 22years, married for 5 and recently had a baby (now 2 and half), I found out he was flirting with a girl at work when I saw messages on his mobile when my baby was only 2 months old. They both denied anything was going on and I gave him another chance and yet again 12 months later there was always doubt ther when he went to out to work and trust we had had been shattered, and now 18mths after that it has come out that they are now in love and been seeing eachother for 5 years (since we got married). He said the usual... couldn't stop, enjoyed the atention too much, didn't think it would get this far, didn't go looking for it, started off as just friends, didn't want anyone to get hurt - but no-one gets hurt till they get found out. I realise I can't compete with a girl in her 20's (he's 44) and nor should I have to, I'm now waiting for my divorce to come through and looking at being a lone parent at 41. It wrecks lives. If you don't want your wife find your balls and tell her don't continue to take the cowards way out by leaving her in the dark, when she does find out and she will, you may not have a choice you could end up alone for what?!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): STOP...duh!!!! If your 'happily married' why would you want to flirt with another woman to begin with? Obviously, you have some issues with women, and if you don't get ahold of yourself, your gonna loose your wife. That's all it takes is one time and you'll have a screwed up life! Just leave the girl alone....
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A
female
reader, Emmajane +, writes (27 September 2007):
 Of course you can stop! You don't want to stop which is why you're telling us about it!
If you love your wife and don't want to hurt her, or wreck your marriage, stop it!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2007): Mate, I know where you are coming from and some of the replys here just seem too quick to say don't. I'm also mad about a girl at work, big time. I feel about her the same way I did about my partner when I first met her. It has gone from flirting to me telling her how I feel about her, and athough I am glad she now knows, it has caused real complications because although she sort of feels the same way, we both know it can never be, so I started to try and spend some more time with her. this has created a stupid situation, and I can see that there will come a time when it will be akward between us. Mate, I know its hard but you gotta sty to stop it now. I can only wish you luck and hope that somehow you get back that feeling with your wife so you wont have to look for it elsewhere, before you all get hurt. I know it's tough and writing this has made me realise what I need to do, but we both know that it's the right thing. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, melschatbox +, writes (17 January 2007):
 Okay, I kinda know where you're coming from. Although, I'm not happily married.. I found myself in a flirting situation also. The only solution is to stop! For goodness sakes, people should be professional at work anyway. Why is this considered the "safe haven" for flirting. Stop! Your wife probably is a stay at home mom..and you are totally comfortable with the fact that you know she can't do what you're doing. Your being totally unfair to her...AND for what a couple of strokes of your ego?. This young thing at work... isn't worth losing your marriage over.
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A
female
reader, rammsteinfan +, writes (5 January 2007):
 If you love your wife, you then must stop all of this. All of this flirting will lead into something that you will regret!! And you will hurt your wife tremendously!
I think that you should put your energies into your new job, and put aside the flirting before it gets out of hand! You said that you are a happily married man. You won't be if your wife finds out! And believe me, she will eventually find out!!
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 January 2007):
 What do you do? You knock off this nonsense and concentrate on your new job so you can get a promotion and and big fat raise and buy your lovely wife a pair of diamond earrings, that's what you do. Nuff said.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (4 January 2007):
 My advice would be stop flirting with this girl right away before things get to out of hand and you find yourself in a situation that you can't get out of.
If you wasen't a happily married man i would say go for it, but you are. This young girl at work probablly thinks its fun flirting with a married man ( if she knows your married ) and is lapping up the attention. But really stop it now before she becomes to infatuated.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2007): think about how you would feel if your wife was flirting! if you have any respect for your wedding vows you made your wife, stop.
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