A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ive been in a relationship for 5 years, with a man i thought was wonderful at first. I have a child with him and our own home. But since his father passed away, he spent everyday out with his friends, drinking after work. He had a major problem with alcohol and he was violent with me. He also slept with someone when i was pregnant at christmas time. I tried leaving but he convinced me to stay. He has changed but now everytime i go out with my friends i end up kissing people. I cant stop cheating on him and i feel like a witch! I hate myself but when im drunk i always just want to run off with someone and just leave my partner. The next day i feel awful. What should i do.
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christmas, drunk, kissing, violent Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): Ok, sweetie, you really need to talk to him, and make him understand how you are feeling. It sounds like you need to build a better relationship if you want to stay together. Make some more good memories as a family to help counteract all the bad ones. Maybe you can do family things and include your child. That way you dont need a babysitter and you can build on the future instead of dwelling on the past. You dont need to tell him youve cheated right away, just do what feels right and try to build a happier future...
as for the drinking... go to the bar on your own and buy a coke, tell everyone its a vodka and coke, and have fun, tis what I do when I dont wanna drink but my friends would think I was weird if i didnt!! :-D
A
female
reader, Ember13  +, writes (5 May 2008):
I think you should look at yourself and decide what you want. Do you actually want to leave him or not?
If you really do, then maybe you should.
If you don't and you're just getting these thoughts when going out and drinking then you need to work on your relationship. Does his past still bother you? If so, talk to him about it. What is the underlying cause of your behaviour? Is it the drinking? Then stop drinking.
Personally I think this sounds like something you should talk about with your partner and/or for counselling.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): I don't drink often, I work too and only go out for friends birthdays. I try not to drink but they say im boring if i dont! I never cheated before he treated me so badly. I think I should leave but I don't want my child to suffer. We can't go out together because we don't have any babysitters.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): wow, ok. This sounds like a tough situation.
The first thing you need to do is to stop going out drinking. You have a child. You need to be acting like a parent, not like a child youurself. You need to be setting a good example for your child.
Secindly, you need to look at the situation in the cold sober light of day. Do you actually want to be with your partner? If you do, perhaps you have to give up alcohol. If not, then bite the bullet and leave him. Yes it will be tough for you AND for your child, but perhaps its for the best.
Another alternative is, could you not go out together? That way you can both have fun and if you want to kiss someone, KISS HIM!! :-D
Just a thought!!
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