A
female
age
30-35,
*_babi
writes:Hey everyoneI'm having a little trouble getting through to my fiance. We've been together for a long time, and i am currently prego with a baby girl due this June.Ok so here's the issue...i cant stand the way we talk to each other!!! It's usually him who starts with the name calling if iv'e done something that pisses him off, but im not playin the innocent victim either. I feed into his anger and start acting the same way he is. It's this never ending cycle! It really hurts to hear those things come out of his mouth. I have asked him to watch the way he speaks to me and he hasn't listened. I feel that no matter what i do or what he does, it is no excuse to disrespect each other. How do i stop it HELP please!I'm 7 months pregnant and i don't feel as if its healthy for the baby. I love him but it almost feel as tho he has me where he wants me, knocked up with a ring on my finger. It has to end
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (14 March 2009):
 Threaten him with your departure and if it doesnt get better depart. hard as life is on your own constant fighting and bullying that chips at your self esteem will leave you years later a shadow of your former self. abuse is abuse wether physical or mental and will grind you to nothing. force a change or you will be in this till your havent the strength and self confidence to end it.
look after number one. everyone does it
A
female
reader, cry +, writes (14 March 2009):
 my babe is two mo. old and that how we wer i was verry verry hormal i decited to tell him when this happens stop take five minutes of us in diffrent rooms even 3 min. of not talking, looking , at eachother we come out saying nothing to eachother just wearing a smile we cant beleve we wer argueing about something so stupid it works for us.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (14 March 2009):
 Put your foot down. Do you understand you have the right to choose how someone treats you? So, you have a ring on your finger. Take it off, demand to be treated well, or it doesn't go back on. Of course you can't postpone the pregnancy, but expecting a baby should be enough to see that change needs to happen, and not waiting until after the baby comes.
Anger around the baby is not good. Your behavior around the child will determine how she acts, learns to behave, and how to socialize with others. If you're angry, don't be surprised if who your daughter marries is angry as well. You'll be teaching her what's okay to accept and what is not.
Counseling maybe, or anger management. It sounds like you both inappropriately communicate feelings when angry or frustrated. You need to learn new methods of behavior.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009): yeah, somethings gotta end...either the name calling, or the relationship. and the baby can hear y'all arguing already, and that's sad...what a way to get to know your parents.
you can't change him, in fact, after the wedding, it will probably get worse. either start counseling to work this out, or separate, get a lawyer and work out visitation and child support issues. it might hurt a lot now, but it will be ten times worse in a year. good luck sweetie, i hope it all works out for the best.
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