A
female
age
41-50,
*nd place
writes:my husband enjoys chatting texting and flirtung with other women. he is not sexually active with them. but he has been doing this from the time we were newly weds. what do i do. i cannot fight anymore for this relationship. the lies and deciets just becomes worst.
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female
reader, Amdz  +, writes (18 March 2011):
 His behavior is extremely frustrating and totally inconsiderate of you! If he has been doing this since you were newlyweds, my bets on the fact that he has never been fully committed to being emotionally engaged with you, and/or he has a problem that is bordering on an "illness." (i.e. an obsessive disorder, sexual disorder etc.) His behavior is definitely unfair to you, and will in so many ways erode your relationships....you cannot be fully intimate with someone emotionally, when they are engaging in this type of fantasy and behavior on the side. It's just not possible. His full attention should be on you, and whenever he finds himself being "distracted" by outside sexual influences, that is something he should come to you with and be fully honest with you about his struggles. By making you aware, and by wanting to work it out with your support and knowledge, that is a-- showing you the respect you deserve, b-- showing you that you are a team as a couple, and c-- making himself accountable to his intentions and actions. If it's "on the table" with you, he will think twice about it before doing it again, b/c he knows there will be consequences, and as an honest husband, he will have to share with you his actions. By trying to hide it, he will never be accountable, and there is nothing to discourage him from continuing on with this behavior. Apparently, he can't control himself at this point or doesn't want to. Only he knows what the answer to that is....and his wife, you deserve the truth and deserve that he work on no longer being in denial of how big a problem his behavior truly is and how damaging it is to a marriage. Best of luck to you!
A
female
reader, Honeygirl +, writes (16 March 2011):
 Hon, he is emotionally cheating on you. Please PM me.
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A
female
reader, TEM +, writes (16 March 2011):
 It appears that you are emotionally distraught, and have been for some time but this situation. Did you bring this matter to his attention when it first started? I do not know how long this has been going on, but I can tell it has hurt you and damaged your marriage. You sound as if you are at the point where you are unable to live with it any longer.
Behavior such as this on a spouse's part slowly erodes the relationship. If you want to save your marriage, you must action before it is too late. Tell him to stop and make him aware of the consequences if he does not. If he continues to flirt with other women after you have warned him, you must act on what you have told him. That would mean either asking him to leave, or leaving yourself.
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