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age
36-40,
*
writes: Hi,I'm lonely and frustrated. I am a natural redhead, men think this either makes me easy or a bitch. I'm neither, i rebuff their advances, i have a preference for women you see. After qualifying as an optometrist i moved to a new city to work. I'm not "out" so I took advantage of my anonymity and visited a (the only) lesbian/gay bar in the city. It was dreadful. All the gay men at one end, mincing about looking camper than a row of pink tents and all the lesbians at the other end, trying to "outbutch" each other and eyeing me up like a piece of meat. I'm an attractive woman i think, i'm femme and i like femme girls too. I've only had one real sexual experience in my life (well, twice but doing the same thing with the same girl) At uni with this girl we "cuddle rubbed"/dry humped (not sure what you call it) each other. We didnt even kiss though when we did it and the second time i started to give her a lovebite on her neck, she freaked out saying her boyfriend would get mad, ooohh dear... I was a bit of a late developer i think in that i did not really masturbate until i was 17, but i made up for lost time. I think half of my time at uni was spent with my hand between my legs. I've tried internet dating sites and thats like trying to catch a cup of water from a waterfall. Most of the type of women i like on there seem to think its "fun and trendy" to be a lesbian, so long as they get home in time to cook their husbands dinner. Not really sure where i'm going with this now, i am an only child and i don't make friends easily. I feel disgusted sometimes that i masturbate so much but i get so horny and can't seem to have relationships like other people but i don't know why. Please advise, thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2012): Hi,
You sound like a lovely girl, who would be a great girlfriend, you just still haven't met the right one. Maybe if you stop looking so hard, it might happen. Also, I agree with all the comments before me, start by making friends with other people/lesbians, any good relationship is/should be based on friendship. Have you thought about other places where you could meet girls? If you get away from the "scene", there are why not take a hobby? go to the gym, maybe do some volunteering at an lgbtq charity? Have you heard of meetup.com (great to meet people sharing your interests)? These are just ideas. Also you might want to check these books out:
- Is It a Date or Just Coffee?: The Gay Girl's Guide to Dating, Sex, and Romance by Mo Brownsey
-ISO (In Search Of): The Art Of Dating, Relationships & Sex For The Discerning Lesbian by Kelli Jae Baeli
-Girl Meets Girl: A Dating Survival Guide by Diana Cage
I have also read somewhere that it is better to "walk than run" when it comes to relationships and sex by the same occasion. Good luck!
A
male
reader, eek  +, writes (31 January 2012):
 i know im a bloke but i know How you feel. It is hard to meet people and frustrating having to meet your needs by yourself. Im guessing as you must be beautiful woman. Rather than searching frantically for a girlfriend try by just looking to make friends. It might not help with your horny side but it will give you good company round you till you manage to bump into that special someone.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (31 January 2012):
 Contrary to popular lore.... masturbating will NOT affect your eyesight, will not cause you to grow hair on the palms of your hands, and will not make you go mad. That said, have at it and allow that to be your "intimate" life as much as you wish..... and wait it out for you to get a better handle on your life and - hopefully - meet a woman friend with whom you have lots in-common, and have great times together.....
Good luck....
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