A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:How can I regain my confidence being naked with my husband? Over the years my husand has used a lot of porn and has made many negative comments about my post baby body(ie why did you have to get stretch marks and why arnt your breasts as perky as the woman in this mag) in comaparisons to the women he lusted over...although he no longer uses the porn and our relationship has improved a lot I simply cant seem to feel comforatble naked with him...he has told me he finds me attractive and I know its my insecurities causing this problem but how do I overcome it?
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breasts, confidence, porn, stretch marks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, babewithbrains  +, writes (16 December 2007):
 What a git!
After having children you always get a bit down hill because you get stretched (You could remind him what happens when you have a baby!)
As for the porn, I'm ashamed of him for even daring to compare you to such slutty women, (No offence) he sounds like a horrible Censored!!!!!
You must just talk to him and get him all aroused - you know, what ever turns him on, then deny him every thing, til he learns that his wife is far far far far better than any girl in a mag!
As for being insucure, no wonder after all he's said to you! You just have to realise that he doesn't know what it's like to have a baby!!!!
Hope you and the little one are OK,
H
xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007): this guy is a complete ass! men base their pride on their ability to provide, so this would be the equalivant of you telling him he does not make enough money and keep you in the lifestyle Ms. X gets to enjoy. If you are honest with him and tell him why you feel the way you do, use those terms not , how would you feel if I critisized your body, he will not get it. Hitting him in the pocket book will be closer to the reality he can relate to......in the mean time, don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, take your time and ask for his support. Tell him what you need, he is not able to read your mind.. when he follows through with your requests, if that is he praises you, he doesn't watch porn, whatever it is you need, you will slowly regain trust in him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007): I beg to differ. It's not your insecurity causing this problem - it's him. What an insensitive b*****d!
Turn it back on him and tell him it's his bloody fault that you've got stretch marks etc. because it's him that got you pregnant in the first place. What else did he expect?
Typical antipodean male by the sound of it. What a prat! Tell him you're turning off the tap until you get back in shape, and he might just give you some encouragement instead of criticism. I'm sure he's got a few shortcomings himself so you might like to point them out to him.
Phil
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A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (16 December 2007):
 The guy sounds like a bit of a Pig, in my opinion. What a lack of respect he is showing you in comparing you to women in magazines! it's no wonder you feel a little uneased.
I'm sure he means it when he tells you he finds you attractive, but his actions from before have obviously taken it's toll on you. I would suggest talking to him about how he feels about you. You can tell him stuff he has said before has made you feel uncomfortable, and would like him to show you some reassurance, which he as a partner should provide, and you as a person deserve.
Keep your chin up, and hope everything works out okay.
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