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I can't perform and she's starting to think I'm not attracted to her!

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 April 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 April 2009)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I currently just tried having sex with my girl friend and was not able to maintain an erection. She able to make me have an orgasm by performing oral sex. I'm very much in love with her and I care about her a lot. She is the first girl I have tried to have sex with. We tried three time and I have not been able to perform. I can achieve hard and full erections when I'm alone or around her when we're not having trying to have sex. I use to watch a lot of porn. Is it possible for a male not be horny? Do I have physical problem? She's starting to think I'm not attracted to her because i'm not able to perform. What should i do to fix the problem? I'm thinking to start off with sex in stead of giving her oral, stop masturbating, stop watching porn, and stop smoking. Is it possible to desensitized?

View related questions: erection, horny, oral sex, orgasm, porn

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A female reader, niki20 United States +, writes (9 April 2009):

niki20 agony auntthe less you watch porn and masterbate the more likely you will be able to perform. is your mind totally into the moment or are you thinking of money etc

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009):

Since you can have proper erections otherwise, your problem is almost certainly psychological. You're bothered by something -- that it's not right to have sex with her, that she's coming on too strong, that you're worried about performance, whatever. Your subconscious is telling you something; all you have to do is figure out what.

The best thing to do is simply chill. Relax. If you can't do that, then there's something about the relationship that your brain isn't comfortable with.

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