A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Yeah, about a month ago I became self employed, so I am going to struggle financially at first, and it will take me time to get very well known. I run my own tattoo parlor. I'm at the pivotal moment at struggling to meet all my overhead. I cannot afford to live with my boyfriend yet because of this--I still live at home. His income isn't solid yet either. He really wants us to live together. He says he isn't rushing me in any way. He and I have our arguments like any other couple would, but things have gotten on the rocks for the past two weeks. He said that he has a bad feeling that I will find a reason to break up with him when my shop officially opens up--sadly he is somewhat right----it's because I'm not making enough money and therefore I am not good enough for him, and I also have a mental illness that I'm very ashamed of. Last summer I tried to break up with him and told him that he doesn't need a mentally insane stupid loser like me, and he needs to find a girl that's better than me, a girl who makes at $50,000 a year. After I told him that he started to cry and was devastated. Then about a week later he and I got back together---that week we were apart we still talked sorting out some issues. But now the cycle is just repeating itself again---I have this idea in my head that if I make a lot of money, probably about $500,000 a year after income tax, then my boyfriend and wouldn't have any problems and we would argue like four times a year. Man, if I made that type of money I'd be the happiest person in the world cause then I can share it with my boyfriend and he and I would live in this fancy house. Idk, do I have an abnormal attachment to money or something???
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 You are like most other people. It is true that this world cannot help but revolve around money so it is only natural that such things would lead to argument. You do not have to allow it to be this way. Your worth as a person is not measured by the amount in your purse, just because you do not earn much, you still deserve the love your boyfriend is willing to give. While you two are pursuing good pay, you do not need to argue about it. Support each other in your pursuits and everything will be alright.
You have to stop looking down upon yourself for whatever mental illness people say you have. You seem like a perfectly normal person to me. Your own mind can change and you are in full control over it, you do not have to let this illness possess you. Besides, your boyfriend is still with you and he fears that YOU will break up with him, not the other way round, which leads me to believe that he does not care about your mental illness, he is with you for something far deeper. You have all the right in the world to love your boyfriend, no matter how rich or impoverished you are.
I hope that helps.
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