A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok basically this is a long one.I met my ex on the internet, back in january(big mistake im never going to do that again!) we started off and friends, we got together in april, even then he used to tell me about this girl that girl, which shouldv'e rang some bells then. well we got together, and since the very start its been messed up, we'd argue about him chatting to other girls, then somehow it would be twisted onto me, he'd get drunk and totally act outta line, be abusive when he was drunk etc. He'd make me paranoid he was cheating then act like i was overreacting, i never used to be paranoid about guys. But some reason we kept getting back together. thats just a jist of how it was like.Then in july I was totally fed up off it and broke it off, he went abroad and I foundout I'd had a miscarriage(i hadnt known I was pregnant)I emailed to let him know what had happened, and he rang straight away, we got back together, he was abroad for 3months in those 3months we still argued on the phone broke up etc, and then 2weeks before he was going to come back we broke up and he told me he had cheated.then kept claiming he hadn't, which h had said n done before...He got back recently and he told me he wanted to see me, basically sex, he told me he's sexing other girls etc obviously I kept saying no.then just the other day we met u in a hotel done things etc, only reason I had basically wanted to meet was because he had hinted he may get back together.I don't know how to get awat from this, after seing him I feel even more disgusted with myself, because he's been fucking aboutv and I still see him, he still didnt say we'd get back together, he tells me he loves me but obviously he doesn't.but I just can't escape this I feel so low and shit all the time crying all the time, makes it worse that he actually really is a bum, but I really want to stop allowing myself to be treated this way, I just feel weak, and blinded by some messed up love, I thought I would actually marry this guy, but I see he is so bad for me that my family wouldn't even accept it. I'm 25years old and feel like i'm in some type of 16yr old immature relationship game thing,help me please because I really can't help myself
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): i think you know exactly what you want to do.you just having a problem with actually doing it.the best way to get over this guy is to not have any kind of communication with him for a while.in the mean time get together with friends go out and start dating other people.he is not worth what you going through at the moment.make the move and give yourself a chance of finding true happiness and love.remember life's to short to spend it with someone that don't appreciate you.good luck
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 October 2009):
First of all, he doesn't love you at all. He's a controlling manipulative man who doesn't deserve your time. He is not right for you at all. So be brave, delete all his contact numbers, don't take his calls at all and keep busy to forget about him. Also, I'm sorry you miscarried. Have you received any kind of therapy for it? Because I think you have a lot of feelings that are keeping you low and until you face them and understand them, you won't be able to move on. A miscarriage is clearly very hard to deal with, and I think you need to give yourself a lot of time, care and love and just start rebuilding yourself slowly. Even spend time just talking to your family, I hope they would want to help. When you're ready, you'll feel yourself moving forward, and you'll feel better. Be brave, and just give yourself time. Good luck
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