A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:alright well my sad story/question goes a little somthign like this. im 18(male) and have been in love with my closest firend(female) for 4 years now(she knows)it's also how long i've known her roughly, so i know it's not a crush, i thought my feelings may pass, i thought she may come around i didn't think id be without her for this entire time everytime she hooks up with some guy i get jealous and pretty sad but it's come to the point where i'm sick and tired of putting myself through this, ive come to the conclusion she wont come around and by remaining around her just keeps making me depressed, shes very important to me so i dont want to just end our friendship but being around her is a constint reminder of crap i just dont need but at the same time i dont know if our firnedship is mainly based around my feelings for her but have no idea. so what do i do, staying is killing leaving will kill i'm troubled both ways! what do i do?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (16 April 2008):
 It is better to leave and die once than to remain and die many times..
If you want her friendship , then you must kill the love for her and remain only friends.
It will be better to find someone who will love you lock , stock and barrel.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (15 April 2008):
Sit her down and tell her that you need to give your friendship a bit of a break.
She may not realise how cruel she is being to you because she cares about you. But she'll see you as a gay best friend, who will tell her she's pretty and go shopping with her and be really close. But she sees you as her big teddy, not a man. She is going to hold herself back as well. Do you think any of her boyfriends see you as a gay best friend? No, they see you as a threat so she is sabotaging her own relationships.
You need to not see her for a while. Spend some time with your male friends, go out and get pissed and flirt with some new girls. Spend some time alone, rediscover who you are and what you want out of life. Get some career goals, or travelling plans and then work on them for a bit.
You can get over her if you back off. Once you do that, you can get your friendship back, if you want.
Either that, or once she starts seeing you as a real man again and not her pet puppy, she might start finding you a bit more attractive.
Good Luck!! xx
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