A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am a 14 year old girl, and i know whats i have done is wrong and i am truly sorry. But when my mam and dad split up 7 months ago i went off the rails such as drinking just to foget about the pain that we would never do things as a family no more, i also had to watch my mam go down the depression line, which see is still in. All while trying to do my gcse's. I dont balme them for what has happend, but here goes. When my mam and dad split up, i first had sex with my boyfriend, i felt i had to because i never wanted to split up with him like my mam and dad split up, i know its not the same but thats how i felt then. This carried on over the next month i was staying out till later then i should, drinking and sleeping with my boyfriend, but one night when i walked home (there was a football match on so the pubs where filled with adults who had been drinking alcohol all day), this man came on to me, undressed me and he was to strong for me to push of do you get the point he forced himself onto me. Well anyway a month later my period was late, i thought nothing of it with been a teenager, but two weeks later i still never came on my period, my friend mentioned your not pregnant are you (not knowing i have had sex), i just said no of course not, but it got me thinking so i bought 4 pregnancy tests, these arnt the cheap ones so i new i was then. I was shook up and hid it till i must have been two months, when my boyfriend tryed to come on to me and i broke down and told him, he was shocked but just hugged me and said everything would be okay and he would stick by me but inside we where both scared. I still havnt told no one apart from my boy friend, and i am 5 months pregnant, i have only got a small bump as i am quite thin, but i am noticing these past few weeks i am growing a bit more, and finding it hard to hide my bump under baggy clothes and coats especially now its summer. I just dont want to make my mams depression any worse, i need someone to help me and give me gidance, i need an adult voice.
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cheap, divorce, period, pregnancy test, split up Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Sweety Pie +, writes (14 December 2010):
 Congratulations :-) I hope you and your little family are really happy. Thanks for updating us. Good luck
xxxxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): Congrats hun!!! I hope everything is going quite well for you two (:
Thanks for the feedback and good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit was my boyfriends :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for now we are gonna foget about the dna issue until the baby comes well i can tell you what i am having now a baby girl i went yesterday and found out! i am so excited my bump seems to be growing now, i feel huge but mam says i have a long way to go.
because we live in a big house i have the third floor of my mums house so my boyfriend has moved in with me in my room and also on the top floor their is another room which is going to be my little girls room. it also has a bathroom up their so we have our own space up there. I have told a few friends well i cannot really hide it no more they where gobsmacked but they dont know about the rape no one does, i am just gonna let people find out about my pregnancy on their own i have more important things to do then let distant friends know.
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female
reader, SallyWallyWhoops  +, writes (15 June 2010):
Well I had the same problem, but I was 15. I was scared that my parents would get upset. The way I told them was I was at a friends house and I pretended I had missed my period. (I knew I was pregnant) So my best friends mom got worried. so she went and got me 4 pregnancy test. I was pregnant so I knew what the turn out was. So After I pretended to be in shock. I talked to my friend and her mom. Then after I decided to call my mom and dad. Even though they were divorced and most likely not to get back together this actually got them closer. They got me clothes and al the stuff I needed. I had the baby about 2 months ago. It's a cute baby girl named Abigal. My parents were upset, but they knew that I wasn't there little baby anymore. I was upset and mad for a while. Scared, confused. My bf had to give me his bagged shirts and pants so I wouldnt show. When I told them I was about 3 or 4 months. I was showing a little but I could she in my moms eyes that she knew. So think of a plan, try it, and see if it works. inbox me if you have any questions....
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female
reader, Accountable +, writes (11 June 2010):
 It sounds like youve been dealing with everything amazingly so far, considering how traumatic it must have been - well done for telling your mum :)
I just wanted to give my personal input on the DNA issue - if I were you, I would have it done. Otherwise years down the line it could be something that has been stewing in peoples minds and causing insecurity - especially for your boyfriend. He has already said he wants to be there for the child even if it isn't his, so I reckon its best to find out for certain. If it is his, then it really will be a massive relief for him. If it isn't, I'm sure he's already mentally prepared himself to deal with that, and at least everyone will know exactly where they stand. If you don't find out, I am fairly sure the psychological strain of uncertainty will affect your boyfriend sooner or later - it is a BIG thing to be uncertain about.
Good luck with everything :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbut doesnt a baby have a right to know who his/hers dad is?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell his mam, i just thought it was right that the baby know who his dad is i dont know we will both have to think hard.
i went to the doctors this morning and i am going for a first scan in two hours! me my boyfiend and his mam and dad and my mam are going so they are all here for dinner talking about what we gonna do.
I think we are going down the line that my boyfriend will move in my mams house, as we have the bigger house and i want to be with my mam, they have said they will both try to help financaly as they both have good jobs and are able but have said that my boyfriend needs to keep his job and studies going and i need to continue at school.
I have took two weeks out of school though as well as my boyfriend and we let our schools know but my friends or my family dont know yet, not even my dad ! we dont really know how to tell him yet
i am sort of excited about the scan, mam said it will all seem real when i see the scan, i feel like a weight has been lifted now his mam and mine knows. Just need to tell the rest of our familys and somehow i dont think they will be as supportive
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCan i say to the anonymous reader its too late to get rid of my baby i am 5 months pregnant.
we told my boyfriends perants last night we thought they would understand better, they cryed but we told them together, they invited my mum over for tea and they help us tell her, she cryed and cryed but after about 2 hours of disbelif we all sat around and talked, they said if we where going to have this baby we need to deal with it in an adult way, i told her about the rape but also it could be my boyfriends, because i thought their is no point keeping things from her for her to found out i lied about it. She said as soon as the baby is born she is going to pay for a dna test, to find out if its my boyfriends or not.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): Honey I know how you feel. I was 13 when I got pregnant and to this day I'm not really sure if my son is my ex's or the older boy that raped me. I didn't tell my parents but my mother found out after I was 6 months pregnant. I don't know what I would've done without her and my dad. It was really hard for them..... but I am their child and they stuck by me. They didn't do everything for me though. They made me finish school, get up in the middle of the night, work (to pay for child care), and go to college. They pushed me just like they would've if I hadn't had a child. There wasn't any shouting or getting physical but there was disappointment and for me it was worse. Thank God my son was born healthy. He is now 12years old I'm 26years old married for a year on June 12th and we are just as blessed as we could be. Either way stay strong you will get thru this just let them help you or take you somewhere where someone can. Remember that with the rain comes sunshine; so hold your head high you can do this. Be blessed.
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female
reader, brandyy +, writes (4 June 2010):
 I've been a rape victim before too for that last 12 years and I'm only 16, and it just came out in the open. It's not your fault. I know it makes you feel disgusting, depressed, hopeless and scared. I do think that you need to tell the cops about the man who did that. You dont want him to do it again to some other little girl, get them pregnant, or worst. I'm very sorry about what your going through. But have your head high through it all. I respect your boyfriend, and happy he didn't take off on you, that's very mature. Don't be scared to tell you mom either, wants it done it's done, the sooner you tell her then the sooner she'll calm down. Keep me updated. I wish you the best of lucky hun.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): Its too little too late now hunni, Its time to take responsibility for what has happened, you have a child on the way and its now that you need the support of your family. Your bump will only continue to get bigger and sooner or later your mum will figure it out.
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female
reader, Sweety Pie +, writes (3 June 2010):
Sweetheart, none of this is your fault, you were raped, thats horrific and traumatic for you and you've delt with it all on your own. You need to tell your mother, I wouldnt even bother mentioning you've slept with your boyfriend, just stick to the immediate matter. You also have to decided if you definatly want to keep the baby, your very young.
Good luck
xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): Do you want to keep the baby? you are only 14 years old.
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female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (3 June 2010):
 Tell her at home. This is too much information to take in at one time, especially in public. Don't be afraid of her shouting; it won't be because she hates you, it will be because she is shocked. Once she gets over the shock, you'll be able to talk things out. Your dad and your boyfriend's parents needs to be a part of this, too.
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female
reader, raiders +, writes (3 June 2010):
 If your mom is not a violent person I suggest you tell her in the privacy of her own home. But the most important thing is that you tell her no matter where just tell her soon.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou all so much, i am sat with my boyfriend now and he has told me to thankyou all. I have told my boyfriend, he is angrey that i kept it from him but understands. I feel quite lucky to have a boy that will stick with me through this and he said he doesnt want to know if the baby is his, because he will treat it as his own. He is 15. we have said we will tell my mam somtime this week we just dont know how, we where both going to take her out for a meal so she cannot shout? do you think this is okay telling her this way what do you think
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female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (3 June 2010):
Honey, the rape is not your fault. You are not dirty or a bad person. Talk to someone about what happened; you don't need to carry this pain around for the rest of your life.
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female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (3 June 2010):
You have to tell your mom. Don't you think she'll be more upset when you give birth and she didn't even know you were pregnant? You're not going to make her depression worse; you need her right now more than ever. Trust that your parents love you.
Please get some prenatal care for your unborn baby.
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female
reader, raiders +, writes (3 June 2010):
You have to deal with this now, you can't hide it forever you know.
You should talk to your mom and tell her what happened, this is not your fault you were sexually assaulted and you should report this.
I want to add one thing you slept with your boyfriend because you didn't want him to leave you, don't do this when you have sex let it be because that is what you want to do. Don't have sex with a guy just because he is your boyfriend and that is the thing to do or to proof to him that you love him or because he is pressuring you to. Just wanted to add my two cents on that.
Please report this, tell your mother, and go to the doctor, you should also get tested for STD's.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmarieclaire thanks, and no i havent been to the doctors
i feel so ashamed, i dont know wether its the persons who raped me or my boyfriends baby, i just feel dirty my boyfriend doesent even know about the rape no one knows about that. i am really scared and i know its my fault but i cannot cope much longer on my own
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