A
female
age
36-40,
*ngel3188
writes:Hi, I'm a 21 year old married female that can't have kids due to pcos... I have looked into adoption agencies but they are all so expensive. I really wanted to have children and now I am really beginning to become depressed because I can't have them. I have been married since I was 17 years old and my husband is a great man and he deserves to have the child that he also wants more than anything in this world any suggestions???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2009): Well to be honest My husband and I have been trying to conceive for almost 5 years with NO luck! We have tried every treatment that my doctor will do!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2009): hi, i was just wondering how you know you cannot have kids? from what i've read, unless you've had reproductive organs removed, with treatment you more than likely should be able to have children. look into the treatment options that are available and good luck!!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (12 November 2009):
 Have you looked into foster care adoptions? Where you foster a child until the adoption legalities get sorted out? I have no idea if it's cheaper than straight adoption, but it's worth looking into.
http://www.davethomasfoundation.org/
http://www.caseyfamilyservices.org/index.php
http://www.adoptuskids.org/Child/ChildSearch.aspx
http://www.ccainstitute.org/get-involved/fostering-and-adopting/ (this has a lot of good links for you)
You can't give up quite so easily. I know of families that waited for years for their children--all international adoptions, by the way. So if you are serious about this, you must adopt an attitude of resolve and perserverance, okay? I know it's discouraging, and you're going to encounter many people who will tell you it can't be done. Just remember your new mantras: resolve and perserverance.
I wish you well in your quest to complete your family.
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A
female
reader, Angel3188 +, writes (12 November 2009):
Angel3188 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell to be honest marieclaire I would have the money to support the baby just not what most adoptions cost! I didn't come on here to deal with rude people I wanted to know if there was any other way! As far as everyone thanks for the suggestions and No I was told that I have pcos about 2 years ago after ttc for about 9 months. My husband wants children just as bad as me and we have actually already dicussed him doing that which we(HE) didn't want to do because of his beliefs (Once your married noone else). I guess the only thing I am asking is there a easier way than an adoption agency that are just worried about the money?
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A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (12 November 2009):
 If you yourself cannot have children, usually the line to go down is either adoption or seragacy. Both of which will cost money.
Seragacy is attractive to many people because the child has the opportunity to be blood related to the parents either fully or atleast from one parent. Your husband can donate his sperm to a woman who then agrees on birth to relinquish custody of the child to you guys. However this is third party and there are always hitches. Many couples have gone down this route, paid for the mothers medical bills and other care only to have the mother change her mind. And its completely legal. She being the mother has every right to keep the child.
Adoption, on the otherhand is cleaner as the mother and father have already abandonded their duties to the child. The issue is it is expensive and it can take a while with all the paperwork many people have to go through and hoops needing to be jumped through.
My sister in law is adopted from china and her parents pretty much went through a 2 year period of limbo wondering if they would or wouldn't be able to adopt. My mother in law, however, will tell you it was worth it in the end. All the money and all the low points was worth it when they went to pick up their little girl, give her a name and take her home.
What ever path you go down know that there will be bumps in the road and you will feel depressed, but know that you just need to turn to your partner. Allow him to go through it with you so that you know you are not alone and for him to comfort you so that you too may comfort him.
HonningKanin
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