A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I can't stop thinking about my ex, and I wonder every day if he's the love of my life. We were together for five years and he's the only real serious relationship I've had. And same with him (I'm 18, he's 19).. We split up about three months ago, because we couldn't keep in contact too well and we weren't able to spend time together, due to things that were out of our control. I then moved away. Since then, we haven't been in contact much - we've had the odd phone call, but not recently, I sent him a Christmas card, which he didn't reply to, but I talk to his mum regularly to keep my peace of mind. He doesn't know me and his mum still talk, and his mums told me to let him have some single fun, and I should do the same, but ultimately she wants us and thinks we'll get back together because 'everyone saw you were good for each other'. We literally never had any big issues, the only thing being I wanted to be settled with him and he was scared of official commitment. But it never caused a rift between us enough to split us up. ..In the past, we've been apart a couple of times, but the next time we're with each other, it's as if we were never away from each other. I'm moving back to my hometown soon and I think he'll have some new love interests (he's a bit of a catch and probably feeling experimental being newly single in so long). But even though I've found people who I 'click' with, I just can't get him out of my head. I don't know whether to try to get him back or not. Is it too soon? Do you think people split for a reason? I'm so scared he won't want me anymore and I don't know what to think about it all. All I know is noone seems as right for me as he is.
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christmas, get back together, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much!
I think you're right.
A
male
reader, CJH +, writes (21 January 2011):
 Please dont think I`m ignoring what youre saying ok? I do get that you two got on really well. The thing is, his mum knows you and she knows whats going on with him. Her advice is probably spot on. You need to get out there and enjoy daying for a while just as he is.
Have you considered that fact that nobody else seems right because you havent allowed yourself to let go of this guy? Things do end for a reason and to be fair, its never sensible to go back. Forwards is the best way!
Clinging to the past, however fantastic it seems is never going to be healthy and will always get in the way of your future. This was your first love - they are always the ones you compare everybody else to and thats fair enough.
As crazy as it sounds, youre probably lucky to have experienced such a healthy relationship as you now have a good idea of exactly what you want and need. Right now, the ex isnt available - the more he dates other girls, the more distance there will be between you. Youve got to get used to that and learn to get out there yourself.
Good luck.
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